


Torn

by Holy_Ackerman



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5399648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Ackerman/pseuds/Holy_Ackerman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one night stand re-opens Iruka's old wounds. Now he's suddenly torn between the ANBU he fell in love with, and the man behind the mask.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still bad at summaries, that will never change.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Running away was never a like of Iruka's. Seeing his mother and father run off into battle without him hurt him more than words could describe. He was a genin, and could barely use an jutsu's, but his will of fire was strong. He'd never go down without a fight.

The burning buildings and blood curdling screams started to become distant as his feet moved faster. He passed his favorite park, his favorite tree and bench, and made his way into the forest on the outskirts of Konoha.

Tears were no longer falling from his eyes, he knew his parents fate before anyone had the chance to tell him. The last time he seen his mother, her wounds were fatal. A large gash in her back, blood seeping out of the corners of her mouth. Iruka wasn't stupid, _he knew._

As he reached further into the wooded area, a soft whimper filled his ears. An injured animal? He thought so, changing his course of direction towards the sound. He knew there wasn't much he could do to help an injured animal, but if he could comfort them in their last moments, it'd be good enough on his part.

"Huh?" He dark eyes bulged at the sight of a baby boy, swaddled into a blue blanket, resting on a pile of leaves. "A.. A baby?"

_I don't even know how to hold a baby..!_ He panicked, picking the infant up carefully, making sure to support his neck. He dropped to his knees, and held the child close to his chest.

"I won't let anything happen to you, little boy.." He kissed the soft, blonde hair on the top of the baby's head. "You must be a few days old, if that."

_He must be hungry.._ Iruka swallowed hard, wondering what the hell he could do. The soft sound of rippling water was in the distance. Maybe he could give the baby water? It's better than nothing. _But I don't have a bottle. I don't have anything for him.. What the hell am I gonna do?!_

"It's gonna be okay.." Iruka rocked the baby gently. He wiped a hand on the side of his pants before pressed in the side of a finger to the boys mouth. A smile crossed his lips as the baby suctioned his gums to Iruka's finger, sucking gently. For now, his finger will have to do the trick.

How was a twelve year old boy suppose to take care of a baby? And what's that weird symbol on his stomach anyways? Iruka wondered if he should be worried or not.

 

 

 

Kakashi was informed about the fourth hokage. His death didn't surprise the young ANBU captain, who was originally told he couldn't fight the nine-tails by the hokage's orders. Over all, he was proud of his sensei, who saved the village from the nine tailed beast, but now he was truly alone.

_He had a son, who's hidden in the outskirts of the village._ Kakashi reminded himself. _He named the boy Naruto. I must go find him._

Kakashi slips on his ANBU mask, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. 

The designated spot of the infant was empty, and panic soon flooded Kakashi veins.

_Minato-Sensei sealed the nine-tales in Naruto. Did they kidnap him?!_

Kakashi shot over tree branches, keeping his senses open for anything out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, everything was out of the ordinary. All of his senses in distress, just like the rest of Konoha. Until a loud cry cut through the forest. Kakashi dashed towards the sound of a screaming child.

His movements stopped as he neared the rivers bank. A small voice, from a boy about his age, was trying to sooth the crying child. His long brown hair was tied up tightly in a pony tail, and his clothes looked frayed. The hems of his pants ripped to pieces, his shirt clearly sodden. Kakashi noticed the souls in his sandals, worn out, and discolored.

But his voice was so calming. Kakashi's own nerves started to settle down as well. He wasn't sure whether or not to approach the two. Whoever this young boy was, he stopped the infant from crying.

But that infant, with the short blonde hair, wrapped up in a little blue blanket most likely wasn't his. Kakashi knew that was the fourth's. He couldn't stand by and do nothing.

"Yo." Kakashi muttered as he stepped closer, making Iruka jump. He held the child closer to his chest and _glared_ at the ANBU mask.

"You're not taking him _anywhere!_ " His tone changed completely. The hostility in his voice _almost_ made Kakashi take a step back. The sudden flare in chakra was alarming, but the boy looked no older than twelve or thirteen, only two or three years younger than Kakashi.

"That's Minato's child you're holding." Kakashi informed him. "Just thought you should know that."

"The fourth..?" He swallowed hard. "I heard.. I head that he-"

"Yes, he's dead. I came to get his son and-"

"What about my dad?" Iruka asked breathlessly, looking back down at the baby. "I know my mom.. I know she's probably dead, but-"

"I'm honestly not sure. I wasn't fighting when the nine-tails attacked. If you'd like, I can find out."

"No." Iruka shook his head slowly. "He would have found me by know if he was alive. I _always_ come here when I run away."

"I'm sorry for your loss.."

_He's just like me.._ Kakashi thought, unsure if he should comfort the boy or not. After all, he lost his father when he was younger. He understand the loss of a parent better than anyone, regardless of his feelings towards his father.

"Don't pity me, ANBU-San. I can take care of my damn self." His eyes narrowed again towards the steel orbs staring back at him through the dog painted mask.

"I'm not." He informed the other. "Not at all. As a matter of fact, I understand what you're going through."

Iruka stumbled to his feet, making sure to hold the baby close to him. _Support the neck_. He kept reminding himself.

"Then you understand why I won't let this child go off on his own."

"You're right.." He stepped closer to Iruka, holding out a helpful hand. "That's why I'm going to help you."

"Help me?" Iruka had a puzzled look in his eyes that amused Kakashi beyond belief.

"I'll take you to where Naruto was born. There should be baby food and clothes there."

"R-Really!?"

"Yes. But let's hurry before people come looking for us."

Iruka nodded his head, he understood the situation. This wasn't some random child, this was the hokage's son. Being out in the open probably wasn't a great idea. He followed Kakashi, surprisingly without a doubt. ANBU are supposed to be trusted, as it is, no questions asked. Even Iruka could tell the anbu wasn't much older than himself. He had a good feeling about this guy.

The three of them ventured a few miles west of the river, coming up to a small cabin hidden by a jutsu. Kakashi flashed through the hand sighs to reveal the wooden cabin. He let Iruka and Naruto enter first before placing the jutsu back over the cabin.

Inside, there was a bed covered in a yellow bedspread, a medical kit, and a pale of distilled water. On a shelf hanging from the wall, Iruka spotted infant formula and his knees almost gave out underneath him. A huge weight was lifted from his shoulders. The least he could do now was feed the poor boy. The boy the fourth named Naruto.

"There's enough food for a month here." Kakashi informed him. "Diapers, bottles, clothes and some dried nuts and meats are in the closet over there. I think it's best we stay here for a while."

"We?" Iruka repeated.

"The third will come and get us, I'm sure. Until then, we stay here and protect Naruto. The barrier around this place is strong, no worries."

"I should probably introduce myself then, if we'll be staying here together. I'm Umino Iruka, I'll be thirteen pretty soon."

"Ka- Sorry, hound. Please call me 'Hound'."

"Hound-San." He said the others code name with a small smile. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"I hope you know how to change a diaper." Hound spoke, almost too seriously, but intended on lightning up the mood. "I sure as hell don't."

"My mom showed me! I had some practice on my little cousin. I think we'll be okay till sandaime arrives. Please, have some faith in me."

"I have faith in you, Iruka-chan."

"Chan?" His cheeks flush. "God.. My parents don't even use _chan_ with me."

"You're kinda cute, so I figured I'd use it." The ANBU chuckled, sitting himself down on the bed. _Kushina probably gave birth here..._ He thought to himself. 

"I'm not cute! And I'll kick your ass!" He huffed, and puffed out his chest. "Just you wait, Hound! One day I'll fight you and I'll win!"

"Let's focus on right now, ok? Our priority is taking care of Naruto. _Uzumaki Naruto_." The name rolled off his tongue with great ease. "Lay Naruto is the basinet, your arms will get tired of you hold him all night. And grab the medical kit, I'll treat your wounds."

"R-Right.." His cheeks flushed without his permission. Iruka followed through and laid the sleeping boy down in the small, white basinet next to the bed before sitting himself down next to hound, the heavy medical kit rested on his lap.

"Do you think the third will let me look after him?" The younger boy asked as he watched Hound look around the contents of the box.

"By yourself?" Hound questioned, taking out a roll of bandages and some disinfectant swabs.  "No. But if he puts Naruto in a foster home-"

"I won't allow that!" He intervened, throwing hound off track. "He needs a family, and a home-"

"So do you, Iruka-chan." He reminded the young boy. "You lost your family and home tonight, and you're putting this child before your own needs."

Hound wiped the scraps and bruises on Iruka's arms with the alcohol swabs, making the smaller boy wince as the open wounds stung. The smell of disinfectants filled the room rather quickly. It reminded Iruka of his mother, and how she was always so crafty with medical work. Stitching especially, since Iruka was always getting himself hurt.

"He's a _baby!_ He doesn't deserve this, hound-san. Don't fight with me on this. I may not have a family, but... I found him for a reason, no? I'll look after him as long as I can."

"You're selfless." He commented as he wrapped the others arms.. "I like that.."

"I've always wanted a little brother anyways." Iruka smiled, ignoring the lone tear rolling down his blushing cheek. It felt nice to have someone dress his wounds, considering mother wasn't around any longer.

Hound rested a gloved hand on the others shoulder, trying to do that thing called _comforting_ that Rin had told him about countless times. No time like to present to start trying to comfort others, right? The dark blush on Iruka's cheeks made it worth it. His precious smile, and brigt eyes that filled with tears broke and healed Kakashi at the same time.

"I'll watch over him too." Hound stated, gripping his hand tighter over Iruka's shoulder. "I'll watch over you both. I promise."

"You promise, Hound-San?"

"I promise.." His smile went unnoticed, but his soothing chakra was enough for Iruka, who finally let his tears break free. His head fell straight into the crook of the others neck. Hound wrapped his arms around the young boy. "You'll both be safe with me around. I'll never leave you, Iruka-Chan."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter was pretty short, and this one is about the same length, but the upcoming chapters are much longer and... much more emotional.

**Twelve years later**

 

The missions desk was as packed as usual. Countless ninja of all ranks _not_ standing in single file lines like directed, and chattering loudly, ignoring the _talk quietly_ sign Iruka himself had wrote and posted. As if he expect it to work, anyways. This was a normal day.

"Iruka-Sensei!" A familiar voice boomed through the room.

"Ah! Naruto! What are you doing here so early? I don't get off for another hour."

"I know! But I just got back from a mission with Kakashi-sensei! He asked me to bring the report!" Naruto waved the paper in front of the others face.

"Why can't _he_ drop it off?" Iruka raised an eyebrow. "I've never met him, and I'm starting to think he's avoiding me." He joked, taking the report, which was stained with what looked like coffee. Dirty reports pissed Iruka off to no ends, but with Naruto he tried to keep his anger suppressed.

"Kakashi-sensei said its good practice for me to hand in my reports! Well, he said it to Sasuke actually, but I stole the report from his hands before he could turn it in. I won't loose to that punk!" Naruto slammed a fist against the desk, a sure fire look of determination in his bright blue eyes.

"Wait for me outside, then we'll head out to get ramen. Sound good?"

"Oh yeah!" He smiled brightly. "I hope you got paid today, I'm hungry enough for ten bowls."

"You've always eaten a lot.." Iruka said, though mostly to himself. "Don't worry, eat all you can! Good job on the mission, Naruto!"

"Thank you, Iruka-Sensei!"

He watched as Naruto exited the room, moving through the crowd with some effort. Ignorant jonin refused to move out of his way, others pretending he wasn't there. It frustrated Iruka, but who was he to say anything? Unfortunately, he understood their dislike for the boy, no matter how much he personally loved Naruto, nine tails and all.

His mind often drifted back to when Naruto was a toddler. He was always running around, blabbering on and on about such stupid things. Naruto skipped the crawling stage and started to watch around the age of two, and started running not long after. Thinking back to when the boy he calls his little brother was so young was so nostalgic. But with memories of young Naruto came memories of Hound, the caring ANBU who gave up most of his free time just to be with Iruka and Naruto. Most of their best memories included Hound, who was there for all of Naruto's major milestones.

Hound helped Iruka teach Naruto how to walk, and then how to run. Being a young, elite ANBU, Iruka knew he was man for that job. Just thinking about Naruto's chubby fingers gripping onto kakashi's gloved hands as he wobbled around the room never failed to make Iruka smile. He could only imagine the smile on Hound's face as he aided Naruto's first steps. Iruka knew he himself had the biggest smile he could muster up, and wished for a camera to catch the moment, but it was forever sketched in his mind.

When Naruto entered the academy, Iruka was a teacher's aid at the time. He had the chance to teach Naruto how to read, and write, and teach him basic math and shinobi techniques. When Hound wasn't busy with missions, he often read to Naruto, or let the young boy read to him. It was cute to see Naruto curled up in Hound's lap with a thin, paperback book in his hands. Sometimes, Naruto would fall asleep before he could even finish reading, and it always made Hound laugh.

The ANBU had the type of laugh that made other's laugh, and he didn't laugh very often. Iruka would he bent over, clutching his abdomen and feeling as if he was ripping at the seems! Honesttly, it was one of the things he loved unconditionally about Hound. That horrendous laugh was easily his favorite thing about Hound.

 

With Iruka's first paycheck, the three of them went out to eat, and Hound didn't have to pay the bill for the first time. Iruka felt he could finally give back to the man who promised to watch over him forever. It may have been dumb of him to truly think Hound would be around forever, but the days turned into nights, and the nights blended into mornings, and Hound showed no sighs of leaving anytime soon.

But it's been almost five years since he's seen Hound, or heard that horrible laugh of his, and it pissed Iruka off beyond words. He convinced himself though, that Hound must be watching from the shadows, and if not, he _better_ be dead, or Iruka will have to kill him himself. There was no reason for Hound to be gone for so long. If Iruka did something to make him upset, he had no idea he did so. Secretly, he blamed himself for Hound leaving, but could never think of a solid reason that the ANBU'S sudden disappearance was caused by his own actions.

What Iruka felt wasn't hatred towards Hound, it was more like he despised his actions. Just as his life started to feel whole again, the damn idiot up and leaves like its nothing, no goodbye, no see you later, not a damn thing! Did Hound never consider Iruka or Naruto's feelings? Since when was the man who promised them forever, and supported them through thick and thin so damn selfish?

Hound was gone faster than he entered Iruka's life, and that's truly what he hated most.

 

* * *

 

Naruto managed to break his record and ate twelve large bowls of ramen. Thankfully, Iruka got a discount and really only had to pay for half, since he's a frequent visitor. Not that it didn't burn a gaping whole in his wallet, but the discount was very much appreciated.

"I don't know how you eat so much." Iruka sighed, looking into his now empty wallet with a frown. _Well, I do know why.. Eventually you will too._

"I feel like I'm eating for two. I hope I'm not pregnant." Naruto teased, holding back his chuckle.

"You better not be!" Iruka joined in, playfully nudging Naruto. "How do you know about that stuff anyways?"

"Kakashi-sensei." He answerd honestly, a big smile on his face. "He's a big pervert."

"Eh?!"

"He reads those smutty novels! And he lets Sasuke and I read them, you know."

"He WHAT?!" Iruka's eyes bulged. Whoever this _Kakashi_ was, he was going to get a piece of Iruka's mind, he didn't even care about the perverts rank. "What kind of teacher is he?!"

"I'm twelve now! He was just trying to teach me the birds and the bees." The boy sounded a little too proud, pointing towards his village emblem on his forehead protector. Iruka rolled his eyes.

"We've already had that talk! And I made sure I told Sasuke, too. He has no right-"

"I'm joking, Iruka-sensei! He wouldn't let us touch the book even if we begged! He won't even let us see his face! Did I tell ya that?!"

"You've told me a hundred times." Iruka responded fatly. He's counted, it's literally been a hundred times.

"You know.." Natruto started to say as Iruka looked through his vest pockets for the house key. "Kakashi-sensei kinda reminds me of that guy that used to wear that mask.. You know, in the orphanage."

"Hound-San?"

"Yeah! He has the same voice, almost.. It's just a little deeper."

"You really remember him?" Iruka questioned. "He came around infrequently because of missions."

"I don't remember him well, I only remember the stupid looking mask and that hideous laugh of his."

Iruka couldn't help but smile. "I'd give anything to hear his laugh again."

"Why doesn't he come around anymore?" Naruto asked, his ususal cheerful tone turned serious, but only for a moment.

"I don't know.. He's probably dead." The academy teacher answered nonchalantly. "I hope not, but he'd be here with us if he was alive, don't you think?"

"Yeah.." Naruto smiled, gaining back some confidence in his voice. "If he is dead, he probably died trying to protect us. Hound would do anything to make sure that we're safe!"

"Right." Iruka smiled as well, ruffling a hand through Naruto's hair. "Let's just keep him alive in out memories. Ok?"

"Yes!" 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kakashi slipped his mask down to his neck, exposing his face to fresh air for the first time in days. It amazed him how the feeling always caught him off guard. It was refreshing, and the smell of crisp, fall air was better than nylon and cotton. Tough the five o'clock shadow on his face was overbearing, a shave was badly needed, and far too overdue. Not that it mattered, anyways. No one was going to see his face, or the silver stubble growing on his jawline and chin.

The kettle in the other room started to whistle, forcing Kakashi back into reality. He found himself drifting into a thoughtless state, staring into space for what seemed like hours. His white bedroom walls weren't interesting enough to catch his attention, but he soon realized he had been staring at them for almost ten whole minutes.

Kakashi sighed as he dragged himself into the kitchen. His bare feet ached against the cold tiles, but it was a nice reminder that he still had feeling in some parts of his body. Some days it truly felt as if he were numb from head to toe. It wasn't always nice to feel nothing at all, especially after it became a bad habit.

"Tea.." He mumbled, looking through his little collection he had on his kitchen counter, which only contained three different flavors.

He chose an herbal tea, the same one the starry eyed teenage Iruka would always drink, and had him hooked on. Lemongrass, citrus and rose hip, he always added a dash of honey for sweetness. He wasn't very fond of sweets, but the sweet tea Iruka called _passion_ tasted perfect against his tongue. Though it could just be the thought of Iruka that changed his taste buds to alter every times he made this tea. Under any normal circumstance, he was sure he'd hate this tea and everything is stood for. The name all on it's own was a turn off for the copy nin.

But he shrugged away the thought, and let the taste savor over his tastebuds for a minute before swallowing. It never failed to bring back memories of young Naruto and Iruka, the orphanage, the late nights Iruka would spend studying, or when they trained together to prepare Iruka for his chunin exams. All these memories he held close to his heart, no matter how painful, and guilty, they made him feel.

"He should have went for jonin. He would have made it easily." Kakashi mumbled to himself, running a tired hand through silver locks.

Iruka was twenty-four now, no longer a teacher's aid, but had a classroom of his own. He worked every other weekend at the missions desk, mostly afternoon shifts that ended around dinner time. Kakashi wondered why he worked so much, but knowing Iruka, It was simply to keep himself busy. He couldn't sit still for more than ten minutes. The poor boy couldn't catch a break at the orphanage. The owners constantly scolded him when he first arrived because he was bouncing off the walls, so full of energy and life. Naruto picked that trait up from him, no doubt. And Kakashi - oddly - loved that.

_I see so much of him in Naruto._ He laughed at the thought. _He's just as stubborn and thick headed as my Iruka-Chan!_

He missed those days. He didn't miss ANBU, not in the slightest, but the mask was what kept him grounded around those two back then. He could hide the blush on his cheeks when Iruka did something cute. He didn't have to worry about letting emotion slip through his mask when he was around those two, especially the tanned god that walked around with his chest puffed and tiny first balled by his sides. The boy that loved to prank the old Hokage, and pretend he was the strongest, most badass ninja in the world. Kakashi loved that about him, even more so since he knew what Iruka was really like: caring, sweet, extremely cute and funny.

God knows just thinking about being around Iruka again made his chest hurt. His cloth masked only covered so much, hiding a dark blush wouldn't be easy. He was sure he could barely hide it with a damn ANBU mask.

_I don't love him_. Kakashi told himself. _And no, I'm not avoiding him. I could go by and see him right now if I wanted to!_ He looked down at the red tea in his cup - the cup Naruto made for him out of clay when he was eight or nine - and _laughed._ There was no way in hell he could see them now, not after five years of simply running away, using A and S rank missions as an excuse to himself for not being around.

He stupidly fell in love with the thought of forming a family with Iruka and Naruto. Ever so shamelessly falling for Iruka in the process - who never showed any interest towards men anyways. Unless you count the one time he was dared to kiss Genma and admitted he liked it. That made Kakashi's blood run wild.

_Would he like it if he kissed me?_ He wondered. _But I'm not Hound anymore, I'm me.. Kakashi of the sharingan. The copy Ninja. Master of a thousand jutsu's. I'm not that same as I was back then._

He slammed down the rest of his tea and dragged his tired body to the shower. Team seven wore him out beyond belief, he didn't have the stamina for children, apparently.

 

 

 

Iruka found himself drinking tea, and sitting beside the kitchen window. The half moon did well illuminating the sleeping village. It always brought a smile to his face seeing Konoha showered in soft moon light and stardust. The greying Sky, and clouds that lingered around the moon somehow reminded Iruka of Hound's hair. Soft, silver, and always in dismay. The strands going in all directions, moving through the wind like clouds through the sky. And his eyes, too, matching the dark, steel undertones of dark sky, Somehow, this time of night reminded him of Hound. He considered Hound a part of the night sky. To Iruka, Hound was the Moon and he was the Sun, because even when they were thousands of miles apart, they could still feel each others radiance. Though he'd never go as far as saying Hound loved him, he couldn't possibly love someone like Iruka, right?

 

There was always _something_ that made him think of Hound. Like eating eggplant, twirling a kunai around his finger, reading sloppy mission reports that had weird coffee stains, the color grey, and drinking _passion_ tea, sitting under the tree near the academy, and even  things like hugs- any form of physical contact, really. Hound _hated_ hugs the most, but always let Naruto wrap his arms around him before he'd leave. Iruka never pushed his luck, and sent Hound off with a smile, and some days even a bento. Iruka didn't care if it seemed wife like, it was the least he could do for his best friend.  

_That's some best friend I got, huh?_ Iruka shook his head as he downed the last drops of his tea.

Another night without Hound that Iruka could mark off his calendar, and another day he spent lost in the memories of his first love - ANBU captain, Hound.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Five hours of sleep wasn't going to cut it, and Kakashi knew that. Especially since it wasn't even five hours straight of sleep, just a collection of half hour to forty-five minute naps. Shinobi or not, he still needs a good nights sleep.

But he easily hasn't had one of those in five years.

It couldn't possibly be the guilt, _not at all._ The guilt from taking countless lives, and walking over cold dead bodies to make it back home.

_Home._ Kakashi pondered the thought. _Home is where your family is, they say._ His mind, with no surprise, wondered back to Iruka and Naruto. He'd never admit it, but that was his family. The closest thing he'd ever have to a family again, anyways.

Those nights he'd spend laying to next to Iruka was hell, but at the same time it was his piece of heaven. Iruka's bed was warm, much warmer than his own. It took much willpower, though, to _not_ wrap his arms around the other and hold him close. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to embrace Iruka, pepper him with kisses and bites, labeling the other as his.

Kakashi wasn't just Hound, but a young adult with desires and a strong hankering for tanned skin, long dark hair and deep chestnut eyes. He would have killed to hear Iruka's sweet voice moan his name. _His name._ Not Hound.

Hound isn't a name he's proud of.   
  


Today team seven was sparring with team Gai, which meant Kakashi _really_ had to prepare himself for the day. Gai may be a very good friend of his, but after an hour of hearing him go on and on about youth and passion, anyone's ears would start to hurt. Now add Rock Lee to the mix, or as Kakashi likes to call him 'Little Gai'. It was twice the youth and passion, and Kakashi wasn't sure if he'd last long with them both around.

Also, Gai is a little too observant. He'd notice the copy nin's weird mood and call him out on it in front of the kids. The last thing me needed was someone trying to pry into his feelings. He didn't want to talk about anything, he never has, and he's too stubborn to change his ways at twenty-six years old. 

The dark blue mask was pulled up higher on Kakashi's face today. If he could cover the whole damn thing, he would. Just to cover up any hint of _feelings,_ something to make him look seemingly robotic. Being "human" is too much work, and way too stressful on a person.   
  


Staggering to the training fields almost and hour and a half later, Kakashi waived nonchalantly, saying his signature _yo_ as he approched the kids. They all glared in his direction, but said nothing. Kakashi assumed his genin team already informed them of his excessive tardiness. Not that Kakashi really cared, time for all they know, could be a made up thing. Time may not stop, but who said it even started?

"Better late than never, my rival!" Gai's voice echoed.

"Yeah.." Copy nin mumbled, locking his hands behind his head. "I guess."

Sakura was paired with Tenten, Sasuke with Neji - and that clearly pissed Naruto off, who was with a very energetic Lee. They were good choices on Gai's part. He was much smarter than his thick eyebrows and bowl cut made him out to be. 

"You alright?" Gai's tone was serious, and for once, not loud. "You seem down today, Kakashi."

"Me?" He questioned. "I'm fine. Just my usual self."

"That's more concerning than it is comforting, to be honest."

"Shut up.." Kakashi folded his arms tightly over his chest, watching Naruto and Lee spar. It was like watching two puppies glop all over each other.

"Naruto has grown a lot, huh? He's much better with controlling his chakra than he was before."

"That's true, took me a lot of time and effort to teach him. But.. He's strong, and has much potential."

"That's very true."

They both watched as Naruto created a shadow clone, one attacking Lee from behind as Naruto himself charges straight for him. A bold move, but Lee is light and fast on his feet, dodging both sets of fist with ease. He kicked the clone into a cloud of smoke, and used his Konoha senpuu on Naruto, hurling him into a bush.

Kakashi's eyes darted over to the girls. Sakura was holding her own, but Tenten had the upper hand with her scrolls full of weapons. It was clear she was going easy of the pink headed genin, only using a few of her favorite ninja weaponry.

Gai snickered watching Sasuke and Neji, neither of them going easy on each other. The small scraps and bruises already showing on their skin. Sasuke was clearly low on chakra as a result of many hits from Neji's gentle fist. He hadn't had the chance to catch him in a genjutsu. It was a battle of the eyes, but the only way Sasuke would win would be through ninjutsu. Kakashi knew his pride in the sharingan wouldn't let him use anything other than his eyes, at least not till the very end.

"They're strong." Kakashi commented. "Your team will be a challenge for mine."

"You're damn right!" He exclaimed. "Our teams are rivals, just like _we're_ rivals."

"You're a rival with yourself, Gai.." The copy nin let out a soft sigh, shaking his head.

"Of course I am! Gotta compete with yourself if you want to be better than you were the day before! Challenging yourself everyday is what's most important! That's YOUTH!"

"Alright, I'm done with this conversation."

"You look like you need a drink." Gai joked, shaking his head at the other.

"I could use several."

"Then we're going out for drinks after the kids are done sparring." Gai stated. "My treat."

"If you're paying, then I'm going."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto called out, his tiny hands balled into tight fist. "Did you see that?! I landed a punch on Lee!"

"I saw." His sensei responded, even though he didn't see a damn thing. "Now, do it again. Don't let Lee win."

" _Hai, Kakashi-sensei!"_

 

* * *

 

Bars were never Kakashi favorite. Any social situation was a turn off for him, really. But cheap liquor, and other shinobi blabbering on about their missions took an edge off. Everyone there _understood,_ and were most likely drinking for similar reasons.

They might have killed on their last mission. Maybe lost a teammate, or someone they held close to them. For some, it could just be because they're drunks. Either way, it was oddly satisfying for Kakashi.

Gai ordered his fruity drink with the pink umbrella that he loved, and Kakashi practically demanded bourbon over ice. _Don't stop serving them to me till I pass out,_ he told the bartender. 

"How can you drink that?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow as Gai twirled the paper umbrella through his muscular, calloused fingers. "Too sweet for me."

"But the vodka give it a kick. A KICK OF YOU-"

"I swear to god, if you say _youth_ one more time!"

Gai busted out laughing. "Come on, Kakashi. Lighten up, will ya?! We're having drinks. Maybe you'll meet someone to take home. You look like you need to get off."

"Yeah right.." He scoffed, slamming down the rest of his drink. The bartender noted quickly, filling the glass back to brim. "As if I'd take someone home. I'm not _that_ interested in sexual relations."

"Eh? Why not?"

"Too intimate." He answered mater of factly. "Not my thing."

"Even with someone you love?" Gai asked, pointing the little umbrella towards the copy nin.

"Well, no.. Not that I love anyone anyways. Never have, never will."

"Your tone isn't very convincing, you know." Gai chuckled, sipping from his glass once more. "Could it be, the copy ninja is saving himself for someone _special?"_

"What makes you think I'm a virgin?!" He snapped back. Kakashi felt strangely like a teenager again. Gai had that affect on him. "I've done it.. Though only for mission purposes."

"Then it doesn't count, my youthful rival!" The other jounin slammed his fist into the counter, causing it to crack. The bartender sent him an evil glare. "Sorry.. I don't know my own strength!"

"You're not planning on giving me _the talk_ are you?"

"Look.. Sex is different when it's with someone you have an emotional connection too. Maybe then you won't feel so badly towards intimacy. It's one of the most beautiful things two people can have -or do- together." Gai smiled, jerking up his thumb. Kakashi couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I guess you're-" His voice stopped as his eyes looked back towards the familiar sense of chakra.

"Kakashi?" Gai nudged the others shoulder. He followed the path of the others eyes, also looking over his shoulders towards the bars entrance. "Iruka-sensei and Genma?"

"Maybe we should go.." Kakashi turned back towards his glass. He lips rested on the brim of the glass before he sucked down the liquor, ignoring the burn in his throat.

"Why? They're coming over here. Let's stay and chat!" Gai smack an open fist against the others back, forcing him back into the barstool.

_Shit.. I can't face him yet.._

"Yo! Kakashi, Gai." Genma smiled, sitting on the side of Gai. Kakashi looked to his left as the seat was being occupied.

"Hi, Kakashi-sensei." Iruka smiled politely. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Naruto's-"

"I know.." He said softly. His words almost too low to hear. Iruka raised a brow in disgust.

"You could show a little more respect, you know. I'm trying to be nice."

"Sorry.."

Iruka sighed, ordering himself a drink; cranberry and vodka. Kakashi watched with an eye as he took a sip. The way his fingers curled over the rim of the glass. The way his pretty, plump lips rested on its edge. A small droplet of liquor lingered on the corner of him mouth. The urge to lick it off his lips was almost too strong for Kakashi to bare.

Kakashi had to look away and take a series of deep breaths. He didn't want their first meeting to be like this, but then again... Iruka had no idea that he _was_ Hound. Now, he's simply Kakashi.

He's not the Saint behind the hound mask anymore.

"How's Naruto?" Iruka attempted conversation again. "In training, I mean."

"Fine." He shrugged a shoulder, shooting back another glass. "He can be a pain in the ass, and stubborn, but he's strong."

"I could have told you that." He chuckled, tapping his fingers against the counter. "But is he getting better? I know first hand he isn't the easiest to teach."

"He's slowly getting there, I have faith in his abilities."

"I'm glad to hear that!" Iruka's cheeks flushed pink. He smiled widely towards Kakashi, who _knew_ he was blushing back twice as hard. Forget getting up and walk away, his poor knees would have given out on him.

"Is he getting along better with Sasuke, too?"

"Maa, that'd be far from true."

"I figured as much." The school teacher scratched an end of the dark scar reaching over the bridge of his nose.

"-cute."

"Did you say something, Kakashi-sensei?"

"I said you're cute." Really, it was the liquor talking at this point, but Kakashi smiled, looking away from Iruka's gaze. _I shouldn't be saying things like that._

"Geez, keep sweet talking me and you might regret it!" The other teased. "But thanks. I haven't been called cute in a while."

"Is that so?"

Iruka nodded. "An old friend of mine used to call me cute all the time but.. I think he passed away?"

"You _think_ he did?" Kakashi questioned.

"I wasn't informed of his death, assuming he's actually dead, that is. But I haven't seen him in five years."

"O-Oh.." He knew he shouldn't have looked into Iruka eyes. They were suddenly filled with sorrow, making a sharp pain shoot through his chest. "I'm really sorry about that."

"I don't know why you're apologizing, but thanks."

_I should tell him now._ Kakashi sank into the hard stool. _But... I simply can't._

"Do you miss him?" Kakashi asked.

"Very much so." Iruka answered honestly. "You two have similar hair."

"Ah.." He reached a hand up to his silver locks, touching the ends softly.

"But his was shorter, and crazier looking."

"Crazy?" He raised a brow.

"It went it all different directions. Yours swoops more to one side." Iruka noted, smiling towards Kakashi. "You're very handsome though. Naruto would be jealous, since I've just met you and I've seen your face."

"It's down because, you know, I'm drinking." He gestured a hand towards the glass on the counter. "Lord knows I could use one."

"I came here to see you, actually. Genma said you'd be here, and I wanted to meet you. I felt as if you've been avoiding me. Crazy, right?"

"Not really.. I've meet Sakura's parents already." He said, shrugging it off. "But I'll admit, I have put off meeting you."

"W-Why?" Iruka took another sip from his drink.

"Because.. Maybe I wasn't ready yet."

"Ready?" Iruka questioned. "What do-"

"Maybe we should talk about this in private. We can finish this chat at my place, it's closer."

"Wait! I don't under-"

"Come on, let's go home, Iruka."

"H-home?!" He jerked his hand away as Kakashi reached for it. "I've had _one_ drink, I'm not drunk enough to go home with you!"

Kakashi slipped the mask back over his face before leaning in to whisper in the others ear. "I'm not bringing you home for sex, though I'm not against the idea of pinning you down and having my way with you."

A dark blush crossed his cheeks, making the ends of his scar darker. Iruka swallowed down the last of his drink, and nodded, following Kakashi out of the bar.

"What's the meaning of this?" Iruka finally asked, now two or three blocks away from the bar. He was trailing a few steps behind Kakashi, who seemed to be rushing. His pace as faster than a walk, but not yet a run. "Why couldn't we-"

"This really can't wait?" The copy nin retorted. "You're a stubborn one, aren't you?"

"You better not be trying to use me.." Iruka huffed, running up beside him. "I'm not as weak as I may look!"

Kakashi rolled an eye as he fiddled around his pants pockets for his house key. He finally slowed his pace as they neared the Hatake compound. The house in the center of the land was his. Iruka assumed it was a family home, but the compound looked deserted. The family home didn't look much more lively, except for a large cherry blossom tree that hung over the house.

"Wow.. This place is huge."

"It's my father's. I just happen to live here."

"Oh.." Iruka had heard the stories, so he didn't bother to ask. "I wasn't aware that you lived here. I thought you lived in one of the jounin apartment buildings."

"Nah, I hate being around people." He shrugged before opening the front door. "Want another drink?"

"No.." He said, tugging his sandals off at the entrance. "You wanted to talk, right?"

"Maa, I almost forgot!"

"You-!"

"I'm joking, Iruka." He smiled, letting his face go free from behind its mask. "But you may need a drink for this.."

 

Both men sat on the back porch of the house, looking out into the night sky with beer bottles in hand. There was evident tension between them, but watching Kakashi was like watching Hound. The way he sat, his back hunched over in a lazy slouch, his legs stretched out before him. It made Iruka chuckle.

"Would you be mad if I kissed you?" Kakashi asked to break the silence, still not looking towards Iruka.

"I'd be surprised if you did, but I don't think I'd be mad. You are my type." He smiled, watching the moon in all its glory.

"I am?" His voice hinted at desperation.

"Yeah, you are."

"Is it my charming school boy looks?" He pressed on, hiding a smirk behind his beer bottle.

Iruka snorted. "I don't think that's it."

"Then what is it?"

"You remind me of my first love." He admitted. Kakashi noticed the small blush on his cheeks.

"Ah.."

"I probably shouldn't tell you about him, you know.. Classified ANBU material."

"ANBU?" The word caught him off guard. "I was in ANBU."

"You really aren't suppose to tell me that."

"You wouldn't tell anyone anyways."

"What makes you so sure about me?"

"Just a hunch." He grinned, leaning in closer to the other. "God, Iruka you smell so good." His nose brushed against the others neck, making the schoolteacher blush furiously.

"H-hey.. What happened to talking?"

"It can wait.." He mumbled into the crook of Iruka's neck, pressing a small, wet kiss to the others skin. " _This_ can not."

"Who said I wanted to have sex?"

"He did." Kakashi pointed a finger at the others erection. "He looks very eager."

"I-I-"

"If you don't want to, tell me now before in unable to stop myself."

A soft moan slipped through his drunken lips as he smeared Iruka's neck with kisses. He took Iruka's lack of response as a yes, and possessively palmed a hand over the others bulging erection.

Iruka's eyes rolled back into his skull at the friction. The copy nin had such soft lips, and hair that smelt of the sun, and hinted with earthy undertones. It reminded him of how Hound smelt after missions. Some days his hair would smell of forestry and river water, old days it's smell of dried up blood and soil. Iruka suddenly recalled the one time he showered with Hound, who was too chakra deprived to clean his own body. His then eighteen year old body was a permanent imagine in Iruka's mind. The scar that ran down his back, almost parallel with his spine. The bruises on his shoulders from his heavy armor. Iruka yearned to run his hands over Hound's scars, bumps and scraps. His fingers _needed_ to touch Hound.

"Fuck.." The curse broke Iruka from his daydream. Kakashi was hovering over him, shirtless with his crotch pressed down against Iruka, who was wondering when he was pushed down on to his back.

Kakashi intertwined his fingers in Iruka's with a tight grip. He lowered his head back down to the others neck, leaving small red marks wherever his lips touched. Every once and a while, Iruka would feel the others tongue dart out from his mouth, streaking a line on his skin.

Kakashi needed a taste, just to make sure this wasn't a dream. He'd pinch himself, but even then he'd question. But the taste of Iruka on his lips was all too real. The salty, sweet sweat beading down the beautiful, mahogany skin drive him absolutely crazy.

There's not a spot on Iruka's body Kakashi didn't want to run his hot, wet tongue over.

"Ka-kashi.." Iruka breathlessly moaned, arching his back as Kakashi relentlessly bit down on his shoulder, drawing blood.

Though hesitant at first, Kakashi pulled his hands away. He slipped himself out of his remaining clothes, and did to Iruka the same. He let his eyes, even the sharingan, absorb the naked body laying underneath him.

Iruka had a slender, but toned body. His arms and things indicted that he worked out often, and could defiantly do some damage. There wasn't much hair on his body, aside the small patch of curly dark hair over his leaking cock.

Kakashi scattered wet kisses over the others torso, paying special attention to Iruka's hardened nipples; nibbling and sucking to his heart's content.

The soft moans, and pants coming from Iruka were far too sinful. It was doing nothing but bad things to Kakashi's mind set. He did plan on going gentle, being slow and passionate, but that idea went right out the window.

"Fuck.." Iruka cursed, fisting the others silver locks into his hands. "Kakashi, please..." He pushed the copy nin's head down towards his leaking, and now throbbing erection. Kakashi could help but grin as he kissed the swollen, pink tip, watching for Iruka's reaction.

Purely sinful. Better than any fantasy his fucked up mind may have came up with in the past. This was the real thing. Kakashi was _still_ trying to let it all sink it.

He was taken by surprise when Iruka's bucked his hips, forcing himself down Kakashi's throat. His eyes widened, tears forming at the corners. Iruka was _thick_ , and more than a mouthful, but the jounin braved himself and swallowed the teacher whole.

Impatient as always, Iruka used the others hair to form a strong grip, bobbing his head up and down on his cock. He started off slow, watching as his full length was being taken in by Kakashi. His thin, softly pink tinted lips now a little swallown and glistened with saliva, and Iruka's precum. The poor chunin envisioned Hound as the one between his legs. He pictured the mouth he was thrusting into was Hound's. The hands clawing at his things were Hound's gloved fingers, the sharp ends of the tips leaving scars for Iruka to reminisce about the next morning.

He almost snapped himself out of the thought. Thus wasn't hound, this was Kakashi.

He almost didn't realize the brutal pace he was rocking Kakashi's head it. Iruka pulled his head back, hearing a _pop_ and Kakashi's lips left his cock. He looked drained, but willing to continue. Iruka couldn't quite make out the look in his eyes. Desperation more than desire, for sure, but his steel eyes hinted some sort of sadness. It only made Iruka want to hold him close.

"Will you spend the night?" Kakashi asked after regaining his breath. He wiped his mouth clean with the back of his hand.

"I.." Iruka quickly looked for an excuse, but found none. Tomorrow he had the day off, and Naruto was spending the night with Sasuke anyways. "I'll stay.." He finally said. He wrapped his arms over Kakashi's shoulders. "Can we take this to your room, please?" 

That hint of sadness in his eyes quickly swept away. "Yes. A million times yes."

This was the first time in a long time that Kakashi had a genuine, ear to ear smile. It melted Iruka's heart, yet shattered it at the same time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little lengthy, and I know my smut isn't the best, but I hope it was good enough haha.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first bit of the chapter is a flashback, just a heads up.

* * *

 

_It was hot underneath the thick porcelain mask, but it wasn't is if Kakashi could take it off at will. He wasn't one to break rules, anyways, and it wasn't going to start because of an unusually hot summer._

_His mission in Suna was a success. He gathered the information he needed, and reported it back to the third, wrote out his official mission report and passed it in on time - which he hardly ever did these days, and made his way back to the one place he called home: Iruka's apartment._

_The sun was still high up in the sky, but he moved through the shadows. The third was helping pay for an apartment on the outskirts of the village, not in the best area, but for a nineteen year old, who just got a full time position at the academy, and snot nosed brat who swore up and down he'd become hokage one day, it was pretty damn good._

_When hound entered the apartment, via Iruka's bedroom windows, he was surprised to see him with only a towel wrapped loosely around the others waist. His dark grey eyes nearly busted through his mask. Thankfully, anbu masks hid any and all sighs of vicious blushing._

_"I didn't think you'd be home so soon!" Iruka blushed himself, wrapping the towel tighter around him._

_"Is it such a bad thing? I came to make sure you two were okay. And by the looks of things, Iruka-Chan, you're looking mighty fine." His grin went unnoticed._

_"You're really still calling me that? I'm an adult now, you know."_

_"Maa,I'm aware! But you're cute!" Hound teased, standing on the opposite side of the bed with his arms tied loosely over his chest._

_Iruka stuck out a hip, and rested a hand on it. He let out a sigh, and pretended his cheeks weren't cherry red. "I'm a grown man, I'm not cute."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that!" Hound let out his signature, horrific laugh. Loud, and booming. It was deep, but if he laughed for too long, he snorted loudly, and struggled to catch his breath._

_Just hearing Hound laugh after a mission made Iruka undeniably happy. It was nice his ANBU was still in one piece.. Sorta._

 

* * *

 

 

The morning sun was bright, though not very hot. It pierced through Kakashi's bedroom windows, hitting one side of his face. Slowly, he opened his eye, catching a glimpse of something beautiful, something he hasn't seen in five years: Iruka's beautiful, sleeping face. His chest expanding slowly with each breath he took. His plump lips were slightly parted, and Kakashi recalled that Iruka often breathed through his mouth as he slept, especially when he was sick.

It was nostalgic, and beyond heartwarming. Kakashi placed a gentle kiss to Iruka's temple.

"You really are _so cute_ , Iruka-Chan." He mumbled before kissing him again. 

The night before was, dare Kakashi say it, but magical. It was straight out of a storybook, a smutty storybook nonetheless. The two shinobi going three rounds, lasting well into the night. Non stop love making, hair pulling, and countless times of Iruka calling out his name in blissful desperation. Just thinking of Iruka's gruff, low moans, his demands for Kakashi to go harder, deeper, faster, and other things that would make Kakashi blush like a school girl if they ever left his lips.

Iruka was different than he was just a couple of years ago. He was much more confident in himself. Kakashi could tell by the way he walked, the way his shoulders were pinned back in such an upright position. His back was straight, a hip often bent so he could rest a hand on it. Overall, Iruka looked sure of himself.

But Kakashi knew his first love better than that. Iruka _looked_ that way because he didn't _feel_ that way. His straight back and perfect posture were most likely ways Iruka tried to convince himself, and others, that he had his life all figured out. He spoke with such an assertive tone that people just _assumed_ he knew what he was talking about, and was in control of the situation.

But if sex, something so vulnerable, didn't exploit any signs of weakness, you probably aren't doing it right. At least that's what Hatake Kakashi thinks.

Something must have been right after they crossed the threshold of his room. Sure, Iruka was in control of most of the time, he was never the type to want to be dominated, but he was so fragile under Kakashi's touch. His dark blush as he barked out orders, and the uncertainty when he wrapped his legs around Kakashi slender waist. Any good shinobi could see the doubt in Iruka's eyes. He was constantly questioning himself, _am I doing okay? Will he still want me after we're done? Am I not moaning enough?_

Kakashi wanted to scream out just how _perfect_ Iruka was, and still is, in his eyes. Every damn flaw, scar, and doubt of his was so damn perfect, and there was no better word to describe it. He loved every little bit of Iruka, from the too tight pony tail, to the thin ankles that supported his body. Simply perfection was Umino Iruka. 

 

Kakashi slipped out from under the covers, and made his way into the kitchen. As per usual, since he slept naked anyways, he walked around his house in the nude as well. He hoped Iruka didn't mind, and giving him a little show first thing in the morning wouldn't be so bad.

He was tempted to wrap his baby blue apron around himself, and sneak into his bedroom closest to put on his Hound mask, but just the thought of anything ANBU made his head throb.

He settled on staying naked, and making rice. He remember how Iruka often ate rice in the morning, and a tall glass of water. He wasn't too much of a morning eater, and was big on staying hydrated, and it always made Hound laugh. Iruka is nit-picky, too.

He filled his rice cooker, and set its timer. He personally didn't want rice, and if he had a choice, he'd _never eat it_ , but it was cheap and easy to fill up on, so he forced it down his throat. Kakashi decided to make himself toast, and have a cup of tea.

His hand reached up for the brown, clay mug with a sickly looking dog painted on the side. No one said Naruto was skilled with a paintbrush, unless he was painting the stone faces that overlooked the village. Then he remember that he probably shouldn't use the poorly made and designed mug with Iruka around. _It's hounds mug after all._

Kakashi wrapped his fingers around a plain white tea cup, and placed it on the counter.

His morning routine was going to be a little different, and as much as he hated change, moving things around for Iruka didn't even phase him. He'd get over using a different tea cup, it's only one day. 

The smell of familiar tea filled Iruka's nose, waking him from a deep sleep. The lemongrass, rose hip, and the sweet smell of pure honey made his mouth water. For some reason, he had a bittersweet, somewhat salty taste on his tongue. But as his surroundings became aware to him, he remember the night before, and the reason for the salty taste on his tongue: Kakashi.

"Damn.." He rubbed his forehead as he sat up in the others bed. He noticed that Kakashi had a fairly big bedroom, but there east much it in. A simple, full sized bed, a desk with a matching chair, and a nightstand with an old lamp.

Either Kakashi is cheap as hell, or just doesn't like sentimental things. Possibly both.

He scanned the room for any sigh of his clothing, but suddenly recalled their night on the back porch. His clothes were left out over night, and he was left naked in Kakashi's bed.

Iruka needed pants at least, and was hoping Kakashi didn't mind if he borrowed a pair. He peaked into the others almost vacant closet. A couple of uniforms, a few extra pairs of sandals. He spotted an old ANBU uniform and forced his eyes away from it. Iruka pretended he never saw the suite of armor.

Iruka settled with uniform pants, witch were a little long on his legs, so he cuffed them at the bottom. But other than that, they fit fine. Iruka and Kakashi were similar in weight, as it is.

He turned back to the closet, starting to slid the door shut when he heard a something drop. It was a low thud, as if it was something that had weight to it. He slid he door back open, only to see the inside of an ANBU mask. He wasn't sure if he should scold Kakashi for keeping it in plain sight, but then again, he doubted Kakashi let many people into his home anyways.

Iruka _almost_ didn't pick the mask up off he floor and place it back on the small shelf it was laying on. He knew he shouldn't have, but his gut told him he had to.

The sight of the mask made him wish he didn't. The painted design on the front was the same as Hound's.

This was Hound's mask. There was no other explanation. No logical excuse crossed his mind. Kakashi had no reason to steal Hound's mask, or preform some weird jutsu that makes Iruka's eyes _only_ see ANBU masks with Hound's design on the front. This had to be Hound's mask.

Iruka shook his head. "No.. This is _Kakashi's_ mask."

It really didn't hit him until he smelled the tea again, until he recalled Hound, no _Kakashi_ calling him cute. The look in his eyes as he asked Iruka to spend the night. Kakashi telling him they needed to talk.

Kakashi was Hound, but thinking that his first love was really Kakashi seemed so far fetched. Loving Hound, on the other hand, seemed so natural. What wasn't there to love about him?

But then again, what wasn't there to love about Kakashi?

 

Iruka stepped out into the kitchen, his chakra struggling to stay suppressed. Kakashi noticed it in a split second and turned his head back towards Iruka. He was midway filling a bowl with rice for the other when he felt the uneven flow of chakra in the kitchen.

"Did you not sleep well?" He asked, smiling at Iruka who stood awkwardly before him.

"I slept fine." He forced his own smile. He truthfully had an amazing nights sleep, it was his morning that was going weird. "Though I'm still a little tired. My chakra acts funky when I don't get enough sleep."

"You think an academy teacher would have better chakra control." The copy nin teased.

"It only takes me a moment to control it." He stopped himself from adding _but you already knew that._

"You look cute with your hair down."

"I've been told."

"By that ANBU, I suppose?"

Iruka only nodded. A part of him was pissed. Kakashi seemed to be denying the fact that he was Hound, but why?

"Did he really mean that much to you? You talk about him a lot, you know."

"He means the world to me, Kakashi." Iruka took a step closer. "I think I've made that very clear."

"I'm not trying to steal you from him, rest assured."

"How could you?"

"How could I?" He questioned with a perked brow.

"You.." Iruka's mouth hung open, at a total loss for words. He also just realized Kakashi was standing naked before him, holding a bowl of rice. "Ah, you remembered I like rice in the morning."

"Huh?"

Kakashi could feel his hands begin to tremble. _Did he know?_ He wondered.

"You remember." Iruka smiled, taking the bowl from the others trembling grip. "You have no idea how happy that makes me."

"Iruka.."

"Please don't call me that so half heartedly." He warned, trying his best not to glare.

"Iruka-Chan." The name rolled off his tongue with such ease, and lifted such a heavy Boulder off of his back. "Iruka-Chan.." He repeated with a confident smile.

"Hound- No." He paused as his eyes tested up. "Kakashi-San."

"You're really the cutest, Iruka-Chan."

The sound of his voice made Iruka want to break. The bowl of rice in his hands slipped through his fingertips, scattering rice and bits of glass all over the floor. Iruka brought his numb hands to his face, covering his tear swollen eyes, he started to cry uncontrollably in the palms of his hands. His own body trembling as he sobbed, trying to catch his breath as he cried harder.

The sudden warmth from Kakashi's arms being wrapped his body was something he missed so much, and needed much more than he let himself believe.

He balled in hands into tight fists, banging them against Kakashi's chest as his tears came down harder. The other wasn't sure if he should apologize, knowing a simple _I'm sorry_ wouldn't be enough. There was more than enough reason to say sorry, that was for sure, but he was five years to late for that.

"I should explain." Kakashi decided to say, moving his hands in comforting motion on Iruka's back.

"Damn right you should! How the hell could you just _leave_?! You promised us.." Iruka gritted his teeth. "This isn't just about me! What about Naruto?!"

"Let me explain.." He took Iruka by the shoulders, pushing him back a step. Kakashi pulled a serious face before taking a deep breath.

"Go on.. I'm listening."

"The third, he suggested that I resign from ANBU. When I told him I didn't want to, despite the emotional turmoil it was putting me through, he turned it into an order. Five years ago, almost to the date, I was no longer ANBU. I was no longer Hound. I left that _person_ far behind me. It didn't take me look to realize that you, and not just you, but Naruto too, grew to love Hound, and not the person under the mask."

Iruka stood silently with his arms dropping by his side. Somehow, he seemed calm as Kakashi spoke. His lack of response most likely was not a good sign, though.

"Hound was who I was with the mask on. Having that mask on made me feel like I could be anyone I wanted, and I was often far different than my true self. I was afraid, to put it simply, that you wouldn't accept me for who I was. Please, Iruka-Chan, don't think I truly wanted to leave you both. My mind had me convinced that I _had_ to, that you were both better off." He paused, hoping to get a reaction out of Iruka, but he never moved a muscle.

"I understand if you're mad at me. I'm mad at myself. I'm more than mad, I'm disgusted!" Kakashi added. "Why do you think I held off on meeting you when I became Naruto's sensei? I couldn't face you! I only was able to last night because of the damn bourbon! Truthfully, I-"

"That's enough.."

"Iruka-Chan, I'm not done yet."

"I've heard enough, I don't care if you're done or not. I'm getting my clothes and I'm leaving." Iruka looked down towards the mess on the floor and let out a sigh. "After I clean this up."

"Are you finally having a change of heart?" Kakashi said, his tone almost threatening. Suddenly, the air between them both became hard to breath. Their angry chakra was thick and heavy around their bodies. Iruka looked back to his mix matched eyes. A teardop fell down from Obito's sharingan. "Was I right this whole time?"

"I would have excepted you then, Kakashi-San. I never expected for you to stay in ANBU forever. I was waiting for the day you came home without the mask, and finally told me your real name. But instead you left without a word. How do you think I felt?"

"I know you're hurt, I can see it in your eyes, but you're not the only one who's hurt."

"Naruto was hurt. He's over it by now, but do you know how hard it is to answer questions you don't have the answer to? _When is hound coming back? Is he ever coming back? Is he dead? Does he not love us anymore?_ You're really telling me you couldn't suck it up and come see me?!"

"I wanted to see you everyday! What don't you understand?!"

"I don't understand any of this!" Iruka snapped, wiping away his tears on angers with the back of his hand. "I'm starting to question _everything!_ You went from giving me everything, to leaving me with nothing! Half of my furniture in that god forsaken apartment you bought for me, remember? When I ruined my first vest, you bought me the new one. You even put food on the table for us during those weeks I struggled to pay the bills. _Everything,_ Kakashi-San! You would have gave me the shirt off my back if I needed it!"

"I still would!"

"But you just said that wasn't the real you! Hound _isn't you_. Isn't that what you said? Was Hound doing those things something Kakashi would never do?"

"Y-You're misunderstanding, Iruka-Chan!"

"Am I?! Am I taking your words too literal? Is that what you're saying?"

Kakashi went mute. What could he possibly say to convince Iruka other wise? The man wasn't stupid, and no amount of excuses would work, even if Kakashi had an excuse to begin with. Sure, he expected this kind of reaction from Iruka, but it hurt worse to watch it with his eyes than to see it in his dreams. Kakashi's body wouldn't move, his muscles went completely limp. No matter how desperately he wanted to run after Iruka, who was heading towards the back porch to get his clothes, he simply couldn't.

"Please.." Kakashi pleaded as Iruka crossed through the kitchen again, heading towards the front door. "I love you so much, please don't leave me."

The school teacher paused before turning the knob. "You're making it hard to walk away, but I think I need some time to myself."

"How much time do you need?"

"I don't know.." Iruka pulled his shirt over his head, and quickly slipped his feet into his sandals. "But don't worry, Kakashi-San.. It won't take me five years."

The words stung worse than imagined. Kakashi's chest tightened the very second the front door slammed shut. Pain lingered in his chest, and in what he could still feel in Iruka's blaring chakra. With every beat of his heart, Kakashi was sure the next beat of his heart would be his last. It was only a matter of seconds until his heart shattered. He deeply hurt the only man he has ever loved. Looking at himself in the mirror was hard enough as it is. Just thinking about his own pitiful reflection made his stomach turn. It was times like these where his ANBU mask was well liked. Hound may have been a killing machine, and a play toy for the third, but Iruka loved him. It was nice to feel loved and accepted, even with all the blood and dirt that layered over his pale skin.

Kakashi figured he should  be used to heartache by now. The thumping in his chest was unbearable. His feet gave out from under him, making him fall to his knees, directly into the shattered bowl glass and cooked rice. This was a new kind of pain, one far worse than loosing his best friends. Iruka was alive, and hated him. The man he loves can't even look him in the eyes.

"I probably won't live to see thirty at this rate." Kakashi clenched a fist over his chest, and ignored the pain coming from the cuts on his knees. Emotional scars hurt much worse, kakashi made a mental note of that.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto is suspicious, and Iruka comes to a conclusion.  
> (A month time skip between the last chapter, and this one.)

Naruto couldn't put his finger on it, but for some reason, Iruka was in a very bad mood, and he has been for the past month.

Of course he didn't ask, because asking would make the most sense. Naruto is a shinobi now! If he wants to find out why, he must _spy._ He told himself it'd be good training, so for the past ten minutes, he's been trailing Iruka.

The sensei wasn't going to ruin poor Naruto's pride. He noticed him about nine minutes and thirty-two seconds beforehand, but he was heading to the civilian section of the village to buy fresh groceries. It wasn't like he had anything to hide.

Sure, his mood has be sucky, and he's snapped more than usual, but who could blame him? Just thinking about that morning with Kakashi made him angry all over again.

He wasn't sure how he should feel, but anger seemed to be the easier emotion. Pouting and huffing all day just seemed so natural at this point. He didn't want to be sad, he didn't want to cry anymore. He sure as hell wasn't going to be jumping with joy either.

Though a part of him _was_ happy. Iruka was reunited with Hound, who just happened to be the most well known Ninja in all of the shinobi universe. He finally had a chance to be with his first and only love. It wasn't like he didn't want to give Kakashi a chance, he loved him deeply, wholeheartedly. A part of him truly wanted to give Kakashi a chance. He was Hound, and Hound was him, but somehow, the mask made such a difference.  


_What to make for dinner tonight?_ Iruka looked around at the various fruit and vegetable stands. Preferably nothing fried, and definitely no more ramen, if he had another bowl he'd be in a ramen coma. The last thing Naruto needs is _more_ ramen. The poor boy lived off it, and purely by choice. It was easier to fill the cup up with water and the pre-packaged veggies and just put it in the microwave. It wasn't as if Iruka never cooked, Naruto just preferred Ramen.

Iruka considered stir fry, or pork cutlets, maybe something with eggplant, seeing how the usual stand he buys from is selling it for cheap. Then again, pasta sounded really good, too.

It was decided, he'd make a good stir fry with chicken, bamboo shoots, string beans, he'd even add red and green peppers, some onions, garlic, and whatever else his heart desired. It sounded great, and he'd make enough to have leftovers. Though having leftovers is rare with a boy like Naruto around.

He reached for a crown of broccoli when a cold, gloved hand collided with his. Iruka quickly apologized, and looked over to see who he had to fight with over the perfect crown of broccoli.

To no surprise, it was Kakashi.

"Last time I checked, you didn't like broccoli." Iruka pulled a face. He sighed loudly, ripping the vegetable from the stand.

"I don't mind it, I'll eat it smothered in cheese." Kakashi answered, picking up a different crown. "I'm assuming you're making stir fry? You rarely use it in any other recipe."

"So what?"

"I like your cooking.." Kakashi hinted at, scratching the back of his neck. "Your stir fry especially."

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't mind having your cooking again." He replied with a nervous smile. "I mean.. If you'd allow me to."

"Kakashi-San, no offense-"

"I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry." He waived a hand dismissively towards Iruka.

"No." Iruka shook his head. "I'll.. I'll bring you over some later. I think we should talk, anyways. And you've probably noticed, but Naruto followed me here." He jerked his thumb back towards a bush that sprouted a tuff of yellow at the top.

"I noticed, he's not very good at spying, I'll have to teach him better."

"He is _your_ responsibility after he leaves the apartment." Iruka joking frowned, but it quickly broke into a smile.

"I know, I know. But I am taking good care of him, no?"

"You are." Iruka smiled. "I'm thankful."

"I'll see you tonight, Iruka-Chan?" He was unable to hide his blush. Kakashi wished his mask covered his whole face sometimes, but he did need at least one eye to see.

"Yeah.. I'll bring you over a bowl. Okay?"

"O-Okay!" Kakashi said, clearly enthused. "I'll have drinks ready."

"I'm just dropping it off, Kakashi-San. I don't plan on staying very long."

"We have to talk, though. I don't think the conversation we're going to have will be short. There's a lot of things I need to say."

"Last time we met up to talk we ended up... You know.. Let's keep it professional, ok?"

"I promise I'll keep my hands to myself, sensei."

Naruto's eyes almost popped out of his skull as he watched his jounin sensei kiss Iruka on the cheek before disappearing in a cloud of smoke, leaving Iruka with a cherry red face, and Naruto in a confused state of mind.

Kakashi had that affect on people.

 

* * *

 

 

Dinner went by painfully slow. Iruka couldn't stop thinking about the plate wrapped up in aluminum foil on the counter. Naruto downed three big plates and ended up falling asleep on the couch before he even had a chance to bathe. He did have a mission coming up in a few days, so Iruka wasn't going to complain about the young boy getting extra sleep. Naruto sleeping also meant a quiet apartment, so it was a win-win.

Iruka set the wards up around the apartment, and bolted both the locks on the door before leaving. He wasn't crazy about leaving the twelve year old home alone, but if he was old enough to risk his life out on missions, he could stay in a well secured apartment building surrounded by other shinobi for a few hours. He just hoped nothing bad would happen.

 

The Hatake compound was a few miles from Iruka's apartment, but with the pace Iruka was walking at, he probably wouldn't arrive till morning. It was as if his feet didn't want him to visit Kakashi, but his mind said otherwise. The copy nin had a point. They should talk things out man to man, hopefully without tears and accusations. Iruka vowed he'd keep himself from yelling, punching and / or crying, but that may prove hard.

His watch read seven thirty exactly as he approached Kakashi's front door. He knocked, and listened for the soft hum of the wards. When he didn't hear the sound, Iruka assumed they were disabled. He took a guess, and turned the knob on the door to see that it was open. Kakashi was clearly expecting him.

"It's me." Iruka said as he entered. He gripped the to-go container in his hand tightly.

"I'm in the kitchen, Iruka-Chan." He called out, and Iruka gladly followed the voice as it echoed.

"I brought you over dinner."

"Thanks. You can sit."

Kakashi stood to his feet quickly to pull out a chair quickly for Iruka to sit, pushing him in after his bottom hit the wood. He took the plate and the plastic fork Iruka had placed on the top.

"It smells really good, I can't wait to eat it." Kakashi smiled, peeling the foil off the plate.

"Thanks.. I hope you enjoy it."

"You made it, I'm sure it will."

"You're giving me _way_ too much credit!"

"You're an amazing cook, Iruka-Chan. Among other things." Kakashi grinned. "You're an amazing kisser, too."

"Oh, shut up!" He blushed furiously.

"It's true." The other smiled before taking a bite. "Do you remember how you'd use to treat my wounds after I'd return home? You've always had such a gentle touch."

"You refused to go to the hospital! You were a stubborn mule of an ANBU! I hear some things haven't changed."

"So you've been asking around about me?" Kakashi questioned, amusement clearly written on his face.

"I've only asked Genma" Iruka answered honestly. "And he's gossip central."

"Oh I know. But you can ask me things, you know. Anything, nothing's off the table."

"I can ask anything?"

"Anything." Kakashi assured him. 

"Okay.." Iruka cleared his throat. "Then.. I guess I would like to know something."

"Hit me."

"Why did you ever help me out that night? You know, the night I found Naruto in the forest."

"Why? Because you had that adorable look in your eyes. I couldn't leave you or him in such a state. You looked very determined to keep that boy by your side. As someone who lost his father at such a young age, I secretly wished I had someone like you in my life. I wasn't going to take that away from Naruto. I did promise the fourth that I'd look out for his son, and make sure he's safe."

"So you did it for Naruto?"

"Don't sound so jealous." Kakashi teased. "That was only half the reason, to be honest."

"What was the other half?"

"You, of course. I think I made that clear. You lost your parents that night, and Naruto the same. I honestly felt that you both needed each other. Who was I to break that bond apart?"

"I'm glad that you didn't call another ANBU to take him away from me." The teacher confessed, looking down at his hands that rested loosely cupped in his lap. "I think I would have hated you for it. But instead you helped me, took me to the hideout where he was born and hid us away for a few days till it was safe. Kakashi-San, you went against specific instructions just to protect us."

"That's because I'm a shinobi with a heart. Don't tell anyone that, though. I may get called a hypocrite for it."

Iruka was surprised at himself for laughing, but knowing Hound, better yet, _Knowing Kakashi,_ Iruka never assumed he was heartless. As a matter of fact, Kakashi was the most caring person he knew.

"You've always had a big heart, you idiot. That's what I love about you!" He responded without a doubt. The realization of his words hit him when he noticed the darkening blush creeping up on Kakashi's cheeks. "Ah! S-Sorry!"

"No.. It's fine. Just.. You don't have to say things like that." There was a sudden change in his chakra. Once airy and light, now seemed dark and heavy, resting on Iruka's chest, making his heart pound.

"Excuse me?" Iruka muttered, eyeing kakashi, who looked down towards his half eaten plate of food.

"You don't have to see me as Hound. He's the one you love, right? Anything between Kakashi and Iruka is one sided, but not with Hound. I'm sorry to inform you, but I'm no longer the man you love. Though, you will always be _my_ Iruka-Chan, whether I'm Hound or not."

"Then why can't you be _my_ Hound?! I'm not the same teenage boy I was when you left me! I'm not dumb, nor naïve!"

"I.. I'm aware of that, Iru-"

"Are you?!" Iruak shouted, shooting up from his seat, and slammed his palms into the kitchen table. "Because for the past month _us_ is all I could think about! I was trying to come up with reasons as to why we shouldn't at least try, and I can't! Neither of us are _exactly_ the same as we used to be. The situations that we've been through during our five years apart have changed us, and I can't sit here on a pedestal and deny you my love because you're no longer an ANBU. Dammit, Kakashi! You're everything I've dreamed of Hound to be, because you _are_ him!" 

"Iruka-Chan, I'm not-"

"Stop saying that!" He slammed a closed fist the kitchen table, causing it to splinter under his hand. "I've waited so fucking long to have you and you're really gonna push me away? I'm giving you _one last chance,_ Kakashi-San. And in expecting you to make up for these last five years."

Kakashi sat silently, his fork balanced between two fingers. Truthfully, he wanted to try things out with Iruka. He wanted to make up for everything he's done, but how could he ever make up for lost time? Kakashi needed to do _something_ about the sorrow in deep in Iruka eyes. He was the reason that they've turned so dark, after all.

"I'm seeing someone." He spat out. "She's-"

"I've heard enough." Iruka pushed his chair out from behind him., and turned to walk away.

"A therapist, Iruka-Chan. I'm seeing a **therapist.** And-"

"So she's a professional? That's great, I hope she makes you happy."

"You aren't listening.." Kakashi pushed himself up, and darted toward Iruka. He took a hold of Iruka's wrist before he could leave the kitchen. "I'm seeing a therapist because I need help, she isn't my girlfriend or some fling. She's a professional, and that's it."

"Why are you seeing her?" He said under his breath. Iruka stopped in his tracks, letting Kakashi keep hold of his wrist.

"Because keeping all this shit bottled up inside me was driving me fucking insane. All the guilt, all the tears and sorrow I've built up inside.." Kakashi confessed. He loosened his grip on Iruka's wrist. The other turned quickly on the balls of his feet; tears built up in the corner of his eyes.

"Guilt? From what?" He knew the answer before asking the question, but dared to push it anyways. "I mean.. I understand. Taking people's lives isn't easy. Hell.. That's one of the biggest reasons I took up teaching! I-"

"It's not about the killing." He said. "I can become an emotionless killing machine when I have to be. It's _my job_ , I don't bring it home with me."

"Then what is it?"

"Everything else."

"In not a fucking yamanaka, you gotta spell it out for me, Kakashi.."

"My father's death.. My friends death.. Loosing you.. Loosing myself. It's different when it's people I don't know. It's different when it's enemies who threaten the safety of the village and the people I love. Their deaths don't even phase me anymore.. But.." He paused, crinkling his eyebrows together. Kakashi sighed, shaking his head.

"But?"

"But loosing you would be my breaking point.. Loosing you for good. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick!"

"You.. You don't have to loose me." Iruka's voice was almost pleading. He was the one holding Kakashi's wrist now, watning nothing more than to hold him close, embrace him, hold him while he cries. He craved to hear him speak of his past, just to get it off of his chest. Iruka wanted to be his touchstone, a good shoulder to cry on, just something. He wanted to stay up all night and talk with Kakashi, just like he did with the silver headed masked man years ago.

"How can you be so kind? I was the one walked away like it was nothing.."

"But it wasn't nothing to you, right? Isn't that what you were trying to tell me the last time we saw each other? I've been thinking about it nonstop.." Iruka wrapped his arms loosely over Kakashi's shoulders. "You were scared that I wouldn't accept you, and thought Naruto and I would be better off without you. Right?"

"Right.." He muttered, looking down towards his feet.

"Kakashi-San, I'm willing to accept you. I'm willing to put the anger I've had aside and take you as you are. There's no point in being mad at you, I've come to realize that. Somehow, that made me more mad." Iruka nervously let out a chuckle. "I couldn't find a single reason to truly be mad at you anymore. You're here with me now, and I'd be stupid to let the man that I love go."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah.. Yeah I do." The school teacher smiled, watching as Kakashi lifted his head.

"I'm happy to hear that, Iruka-Chan." Kakashi smiled weakly. He pulled Iruka's closer to his by his waist, and held him close. "I just want to hold you, is that okay?"

"Yes."

"I just want to make you happy, but I can't promise that I'd never hurt you. I'll try my best.. Is that okay?"

"Yes." Iruka smiled, nodding his head slowly.

"What will we say to Naruto?"

"Let's worry about us for now, okay?" Iruka fell into the others embrace, resting his forehead against Kakashi's, feeling how hot his skin is. "Let's just.. See how this goes before we drag our kid into this."

"Our kid? You haven't called him ours in a long time.." Kakashi's hands trembled at Iruka's waist. He gripped the others shirt tightly. "Words can't describe how happy that makes me."

"Hey.." Iruka smiled as he brought his hands to Kakashi's face, using his thumbs to wipe away the falling tears. "There's no need to cry."

"You're crying, too." Kakashi pointed out and mimicked Iruka's actions.

"I am, huh?" Iruka pressed his lips against Kakashi's. "I can't stay much longer, but-"

"We should make it quick then?" He suggested with a sly grin.

"You know me so well."

 

Their clothes fell quickly to the floor, leaving a trail leading into Kakashi's bedroom, and ending at the foot of his bed. Iruka pushed kakashi down on top of the sheets, and straddled himself over his groin. Kakashi's hands glided up the others torso, stopping when his fingers reached the others perk nipples. He squeezed them between his pale fingertips, and felt his skin start to boil as Iruka shuddered out a sharp moan. His body reacting instantly; Iruka's head fell back in ecstasy, and his hips grinded straight into Kakashi's. Their hardening erections pressing into each other, making their bodies overwhelmingly hot.

Kakashi brought his lips to the others dark nipples, suckling on them till Iruka was letting out cries. He softly ran his teeth over the hard skin. He could feel Irukas breath over his skin, making him emit a soft moan of his own as Iruka's taste danced around on his skin. It had been a month too long since he last had Iruka in his embrace, but he had no intention of fucking him slow. He was too impatient and caught up in the moment for that. They had the rest of their lives to make love, but tonight he needed the fell of Iruka's body underneath him, the security of holding the man he loves in his arms as he pumps out his past frustrations, and use this intimate moment as a turning point.

After tonight, it wouldn't be Hound and Iruka. It will be, and will always be, Kakashi and Iruka. Neither of them will let anything come between that.

 

 

 

"Kakashi.." Iruka yawned, twirling a finger over the others chest while listening to the steady beat of his heart. "I need to go home to Naruto.."

"I know that, but I don't want you to leave." He let out a soft sigh, but placed a kiss on top of Iruka's head.

"Trust me, I don't want to.. But I'm not crazy about leaving him alone all night."

"You can't stay a few more minutes?"

"Just a few more minutes.." He purred, peppering a few kisses across his chest. "But I do need to leave."

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.. Will I see you tomorrow, at least?"

"Yeah, how about we go out to eat after I get out of work? You're leaving for a mission in a few days, right?"

"A simple D Rank one, no big thing. We're cleaning up some farm in river country. I'll make them do all the work, I'll probably just sit up in a tree and day dream about you, Iruka-Chan."

"While you read that nasty book?"

"Of course!" He said. "I imagine you as the main character, and me as your sexy lover. Really, it's a great story. A lot of love. A lot of sex. A lot of-"

"I get it." Iruka rolled his eyes. "It's the perfect novel."

"Nah, not as perfect as this one. I think our love story in much better."

Iruka paused before saying anything, he hummed in amusement. "What would you call our love story?"

"I'm bad with names." Kakashi answered honestly. "But I'm thinking something along the lines of The Tales of Hound and His Precious Boy Toy."

"Boy toy?!"

"The name isn't final, Iruka-Chan. We can change it."

"What about something, maybe a word or two that would describe our situation? Something that captures the emotions we've felt as we've lived through this?"

"Happy then Sad? Book two would be called Happy Again?"

"Remind me, if we ever adopt a dog or something that I am NOT letting you name him."

"I already have eight dogs, I don't think I want another one." Kakashi sat up on the bed, making iruka's head fall into his bare lap.

"How about a cat?"

"Hell no, cats are lazy and unaffectionate."

"People may say that about you, dummy." Iruka couldn't help but laugh, snuggling his head against the others warm thighs.

"But you know that isn't true.." He said as he ran his fingers through Iruka's soft hair, still slightly dampened from their two rounds of sex. "I'm very affectionate."

"Oh yeah, I almost had to call a medical nin in here to heal me. I can barely move!"

"I'm sorry that I can't keep my hands off you." Kakashi grinned, sliding a hand gently down Iruka's back. He gently dug his nails into the soft skin, leaving red marks as his fingertips trailed up his back. "How about we do it one more time, and then I'll carry you home. I promise you really won't be able to walk after I'm done with you."

Iruka only sighed. He shifted his head to the side, leaving himself less than an inch away from Kakashi's forming erection. He devilishly smirked as inched closer, and placed a chaste kiss against his shaft, making it perk up instantly.

"I love you so much." Kakashi chuckled, fisting his hand back into Iruka's hair.

"I think you'll love me more when I'm done down here." He said in between kisses. Iruka let his tongue slip along the side of his cock, stopping at the soft, pink tip.

"I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do."

Iruka looked up at his with a lustful look in his eyes, slowly taking the tip of Kakashi's cock into his mouth, taking it in with much ease.

"I've always loved you, Iruka. That will never change."

"You choose now to get sentimental? While I have your cock in my mouth?"

"Well yeah, cause you wouldn't just do this to anyone." He smiled down at his lover, now caressing a thumb against his cheek. Kakashi slowly bit down on his lower lip as he eyed Iruka. "And I wouldn't just let anyone do this to me."

"Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"Please shut up so I can concentrate."

"Anything for you, Iruka-Chan." He smiled as Iruka rolled his eyes before slipping the others cock back into his mouth. Kakashi kept his lips pressed shut, enjoying his current view.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi finally tells Naruto the truth.  
> Naruto doesn't take it very lightly.

Every day was a little brighter in Iruka's life. With hound back, that missing puzzle piece was in its designated place. The anger slowly melted away as months went by, he understood Kakashi reasoning as much as he disagreed. ANBU never have been in their right mind, anyways. The job took on more stress than any shinobi could imagine. Iruka was just glad his first love still had a beating heart. Most ANBU never lasted any more than three years.

A smile crossed his face seconds after waking from his slumber. Just like he remembered, his head was laying on Kakashi's bare chest, with his ear over the others heart, listening to its rhythmic beat. It was calming to know Kakashi was still by his side, and that this time he wasn't leaving. Iruka was sure of it.

He wasn't surprised when he felt Kakashi's lips press to the top of his head. He shamelessly nuzzled deeper into Kakashi embrace, planting a kiss of his own on the others chest.

"Morning.." Iruka trailed kisses up his chest, pecking at his lovers neck and jawline, making sure to leave tiny marks.

Kakashi only smiled, running his tired fingers through Iruka's hair. He thought to himself how long Iruka's hair has become, now just reaching past his shoulders. _Shoulders.._ He thought. His own shoulders were marked with love bites from Iruka, some as old as three days, that are beautiful bruised and sore.

"Aren't dogs suppose to mark their lovers?" Kakashi finally spoke. His eyes locking into Iruka's dark ones. God, the deep look of lust behind his irises was overwhelming. Iruka looked hungry, beyond lustful and needy to be touched.

"You're no longer a dog, _Kakashi."_ He purred his lovers name, seductively biting down on his bottom lip. "Hound could mark me all he wants, but Kakashi? I'll be the one marking him."

"Oh? Since when does the dolphin trump the scarecrow?"

"I'm water and your earth." He said simply. "And earth needs water to grow."

"Maa, you make something of mine grow every night, Iruka-Chan." Kakashi teased, running his hands down the others bare back.

"Shut up! Naruto is in the other room."

"Then we'll be quiet, ne?"

"Nope. We have to get up and start our day." Iruka pressed a quick kiss to Kakashi's lips before slipping out of his warm embrace. The copy-nin's eyes gave his naked lover's body one last scan. He desperately wanted to make love to him, but Iruka was right. Team seven had to leave for a mission soon, they needed to get ready. Considering that he spent the night at Iruka's place, he couldn't be late, not with Naruto there. 

Naruto did questioned his jonin sensei again as to why keeps spending frequent nights at his house. Of course, he asked in between trying to catch a glimpse of Kakashi's face as he ate, but he was too quick for the newly appointed genin. Before Naruto realized it, his sensei had already eaten his toast and eggs. The young boy narrowed his eyes. Iruka found this amusing beyond belief.

"You and Iruka-Sensei." He said. "You're together _wayyy_ too much."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Kakashi raised his glass on water to his masked lips, and took a reasonable sip.

"He already had one lover who was an ass. He doesn't need another one."

Iruka nearly chocked on his toast. His first reaction was to yell, his second was to laugh. Kakashi was stunned, and it showed. Iruka decided to let them talk this out. By right, Naruto wasn't wrong. He shut his mouth, stirred his tea, and sat with anticipation.

"Iruka, can I tell him?"

"Tell him what?" The academy teacher asked innocently with his cup of tea rested on his bottom lip. He blew on the hot liquid, watching it steam.

"About Hound. Clearly you haven't told him."

"Couldn't find the right time." He said with a shrug. "Nor could I find the right words."

"Hound? What about him?!" Naruto's baby blue eyes seemed to glow at the mention of the ANBU's name. "You know him, Kakashi-Sensei?!"

"Er.. Yes?"

Iruka cleared his throat, and looked the young boy straight into his eyes. "Naruto, Kakashi _is_ Hound."

"I guess you found the words to say." Kakashi said in his usual bored tone. "But it's true, Naruto. All those years ago, that was me. I'm sorry, I wanted to-."

"You're lying." Naruto deadpanned, looking back at his teachers with narrowed eyes, but their serious faces meant they were telling the truth. He could feel his face burn hot, and tears of anger and annoyance built up in the corner of his eyes.

Naruto was confused, beyond a doubt. Hound was suppose to be dead. It's what he had believed all these years, because it simply made the most sense. Hound wouldn't have just _left_ them, never! Sure, Kakashi had his streaks of being late, but five years was way too late, even for him. It didn't make any sense to him. Naruto didn't pin either man, who he just found out ha d been the same all along, as the type to up and leave when things got tough. Kakashi was strong. Hound was invincible. What had he done wrong? Did Iruka do something wrong? He was trying his best to support himself and Naruto, all while loving hound and giving him emotional support and comfort. Naruto was too young to have done anything wrong, so what was it?

The poor boy's head was in dismay. So his simply asked why.

"Why?" Kakashi tilted his head to the side. "Why what?"

"Why did you just leave?" As Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, Naruto cut him off. "You left without even saying goodbye! Iruka-Sensei was heart broken! He was crying his eyes out every night thinking he did something to push you away! Even I thought I did something wrong! There was no reason for you to just leave us the way you did, but you did it anyways! And when you didn't come back, we convinced ourselves you were dead, that you died fighting to protect us and the village! You dying made more sense to us than you up and leaving. We loved you, Hound! You didn't even have the respect to give us an explanation, not a goodbye, or a note, not a damn thing! Haven't we lost enough loved ones in our lives? Do you really think we can just sit here and accept this?!"

"Naruto!" Iruka intervened, and Naruto halted before going any further. Iruka could feel Kakashi's chakra darken, the tension in the room was making it hard to breath. Naruto was breathing heavily, fighting back tears. As Iruka looked over to his lover, he could tell Kakashi was fighting his own. His heart sank in his chest. Before he could say anything else, Naruto let out a loud sigh.

Naruto slammed his fists into the table with one last bout of anger, excused himself politely to Iruka and stormed out of the room. Before passing the threshold, he turned back to Kakashi and glared, "We have a mission today. Don't even **think** about being late."

"Well then.. I feel like a piece of shit now." The copy-nin mumbled, rubbing his temple. Iruka leaned over to kiss the other man's cheek.

"It'll take him time to accept this. He really loved Hound. It hurt him just as much as it hurt me back then." He offered a comforting smile, and caressed his lovers face. "He doesn't hate you, he's just upset at the moment."

"He has every right to be."

"He does, but a part of him is happy that we're all back together again. I'll talk to him before you guys leave."

"I won't put that responsibility of you. This is my mistake to fix."

Kakashi excused himself from the table and headed towards Naruto's bedroom. He knocked softly on the door before turning the knob and walking in. His heart sank as he saw Naruto sitting on the edge of his bed sobbing. Heavy tears streaming down his cheeks, but he was silent. Kakashi could recall his own silent sobbing after his father died. No one was their to comfort him, but here he was, standing before an all too familiar imagine. He stepped over the threshold with confidence, and was sitting on the bed after a few long steps.

His arms wrapped around Naruto, holding his head to his chest as he cried. The tears were starting to dampen his uniform shirt, but he could change into a different one. Now wasn't the time to complain.

In Naruto's hands, Kakashi soon noticed, was an old picture frame. He was gripping to it tightly. The old wood had clearly splintered some, and Naruto's death grip around it was causing his fingers to bleed. Kakashi pulled away slowly, and slipped the picture frame from the others grip.

 _You're shitting me. He still has this?_ If Kakashi's heart wasn't already shattered into a million pieces, it surely was now.

The picture of himself, Naruto and Iruka on the boy's second birthday. Iruka was dressed in a white button up shirt with a baby blue bow tie that matched the toddlers eyes. Kakashi had on his Hound mask, but it had a bow on the top that matched Iruka tie. He had slapped it on before the photo was taken and told hound to suck it up. He was dressed down in civilian clothing, but it was nice to not be in uniform. Naruto was dressed up for his birthday, with traces of cake still on his face. The photo was precious. Hound made sure to keep a copy, and it was hidden somewhere in his house with all the other birthday photo's he had taken with Naruto and Iruka.

"That's my favorite photo." Naruto finally spoke. "I have the one from my sixth birthday, too."

"Yeah?" He couldn't think of anything else to say. The boy wiped his eyes and took back the picture. He sat it on his nightstand gently, and reached into the top draw, taking out a stack of old photos.

"I have more.. If you wanna look." Naruto offered, trying his best to smile. "I stole some from Iruka-sensei. He has the hidden in his sock draw."

"Can I?"

Kakashi hadn't had the balls to look at old photo of the three of them. It brought back too many memories. As he scanned the photos, some struck closer to home that others. The ones of him and Iruka seemed to hurt the most.

"Can I... Keep this one?" His fingers trembled over the photo of a young Iruka sleeping on his shoulder. It was when Naruto was five or six, and knew how to work the camera. Kakashi suspected that he was sleeping himself. His head was rested on top of Iruka's. Iruka had a hand wrapped over hound's.

Naruto nodded. "Why did you leave? It wasn't us, right?"

"It was never you or Iruka. I left because I was out of ANBU. Wasn't sure how you guys would have reacted if I came home as someone else. A part of me thought you guys deserved better." It was the honest truth. Kakashi let out a sigh. "I wasn't in my right mind at the time, that's what tough missions do to you, Naruto. Remember that."

"Did you love Iruka-Sensei? Back then, I mean."

"I didn't know what love was back then, but I cared very deeply for him. Maybe too deeply." Kakashi's eyes stilled over the photo in hand. "It scared me, actually."

"Eh? You were scared?!"

"Let's just say that it's hard to love after you've lost so many people. I left before I fell too deep in love, because what if I lost him too? I couldn't handle that at the time."

Naruto rested his head on Kakashi's shoulder, and let out a sigh. "Do you love him now?"

His voice was shaky, but he gathered himself before speaking again. "I never stopped, Naruto. And I never meant to hurt either of you, please believe me."

"I believe you, Kakashi-Sensei." The young boy smiled. "Just don't leave us again, ok? I need you here when I become Hokage!"

This made Kakashi laugh, he loved the boys enthusiasm. He tucked the picture and his pocket, and left Naruto to get ready. They had a mission after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left! I hope you've enjoyed the story thus far..! As always, I apologize for any spelling mistakes. Feel free to point them out, and I'll gladly fix them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set right after the fourth shinobi war, Iruka awaits Kakashi and Naruto's return.
> 
> Kakashi needs a hug, but gets much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty long, with a dash of NaruSasu, and there's some smut as well. I had fun writing this, honestly. Thank you for everyone who has been reading! It means the world to me.
> 
> Oh, and warning for mentions of injuries and slight blood kink. Just in case someone isn't comfortable with those topics.

 

Iruka could feel his uniform shirt dampen with fresh blood. The sensation was uncomfortable, and he was unfortunately used to it. He was beyond thankful to be back in the village. His team was positioned on the outskirts of Fire Country, protecting its borders from enemy invasion. During a shinobi war would be the perfect time to invade a village full of civilians and poorly guarded scrolls and offices.

A part of Iruka was thankful to be watching over the village during the war, and not fighting on the front line. But then again, he would have been fighting by Kakashi's side. Then there was his students, and the young boy he had be a father figure to most of his life: Naruto. He wanted to fight by their sides, and if it came down to it, die by their sides as well.

There was no way for communication, but seeing the moon return to normal, and his senses shoot back into reality, Iruka realized the genjutsu was released. A good dream it may have been, but Iruka was a stickler for realty, he wanted it even if it hurts. 

 

As he strode through the gates of Konoha, he made his way towards the medical tent that had been set up a few yards away. The shinobi of the village would be back within the next week or so. Iruka knew there was a heavy death toll, but he prayed that the two people who meant the most to him made it out alive. They had to. Kakashi and Naruto were both amazing shinobi, both hokage material, and both very special to one Umino Iruka. They were all he had left.

Iruka managed to make it out with stitches and a sling on his left arm. His team had to venture out farther from their post on more than one occasion to fight off rogue ninja who wanted in on Konoha's secrets. He was just luck that they weren't S Ranked criminals. He did _not_ want to have to go through that again.

From what Iruka heard in the medical tent, they were fighting off Madara, who was rumored to have been brought back to life via reanimation, as well as the previous hokage's. Iruka's heart sank immediately. That was not how he wanted Naruto to meet his real father, and he desperately hoped the white fang didn't make an appearance, either. It was bad enough that he heard another rumor about Obito still being alive.

He could remember the young Uchiha from his academy days, but he was a few years older than Iruka was. They went on one mission together, when a young girl named Rin was too sick to go out on a mission. Obito was paired with Iruka, who had only been genin for a year or two, and another young boy named Jin, who was their leader. It was a simple D rank mission, three days total.

From the stories Kakashi had told him over the years, he knew just how much Obito and Rin meant to him, even now. The sharingan he possessed was Obito's. That was the little piece of his best friend he'd always have, and he'd cherish it forever.

Iruka didn't ask many questions, he knew as much as Kakashi allowed, and he was perfectly fine with it. After every mission, Kakashi would return to his side and make him the happiest man alive. If it was important enough, Iruka would have been informed of it, right? He trusted his lover, more than he could ever put into words. At the end of the day, it was simple: Iruka knew what he knew, and what he didn't know, he simply didn't need to know. 

 

Most of village was still intact. The civilians had fixed up a lot of the damage while the shinobi where out protecting them all. It was least they could do, and it was better than any form of thank you. And Iruka was pleased to see his apartment building in one piece again. He just hoped some of his furniture was there, too.

He was thankful to see that his bed had survived, a few pictures, and his couch. Everything else's was at a lost. Clearly, they had only fixed the outside of the building, but shinobi were all about privacy, they would all have to fix up the insides of their homes on their own. Iruka was happy to have a place to lay down his body. Sleep was something he had forgotten to do. His chakra was low and slipping away from him slowly.

Right now, he needed to rest. As soon as his chakra was up to par, he'd help out in the medical tent, and wait for Kakashi and Naruto's arrival. He was desperate to feel their chakra signatures, but right now, he needed rest and food. If they're alive, they have the rest of their lives to spend together. He wasn't expecting them for a few more days as it was.

 

* * *

 

The medical tent was booming. The injuries ranged from cuts and scrapes, to missing limbs and disfigurements. Iruka wasn't a profound medical ninja, he knew a thing or two around using healing chakra to treat wounds, but that was it.

When Genma sat across for Iruka, his heart nearly exploded. A genuine smile crossed his face as he saw his childhood friend. He was temped to wrap him arms around the other man and not let go, but it was clear that Genma was in pain.

"Glad to see that I'm alright?" Genma flashed a weak smile. "How are you gonna treat me with one arm?"

"You know me better than that. I could do it with my hands tied and blindfolded, it's my ninja way."

"God, you sound like Naruto." He teased, rolling his eyes playfully. "Now hurry up and bandage my shoulder. I'm pretty sure I fucked it up."

Genma carefully pulled his injured shoulder out of his shirt, which was almost shredded to pieces. His body was covered with cuts and bruises, but none of them significant enough for more than ointment and bandages. Iruka would worry about those later.

"Don't be so demanding." Iruka formed a single handed seal, and sent healing chakra through the exposed skin. His friend let out a sigh of relief as the pain began to dwindle. Iruka could sense a change in Genma's chakra; it was peaceful.

"So?" Iruka cleared his throat to break their comfortable silence. "What can you tell me?"

"About the war?"

"No, about the weather. Obviously I'm asking about the war, Genma."

"It was hell, what else can I say?"

"Rumor has it Madara came back, as well as the five kages."

"I heard the same." He said. "But I was guarding the daimyo's the whole time. I wouldn't know for sure."

"I guess you got lucky then."

"In a way, but I'm pretty sure everyone else got a taste of... Madara, if the rumors are true. I wouldn't put it past an Uchiha."

Iruka narrowed his eyes, and used his time as a warning. "Watch it, you. I taught an uchiha, and knew a few personally as a child. They're not bad people. Not at all."

"I know, I know." He waived a hand dismissively. "I just like to push your buttons, Iruka. It's far too easy."

The chunin rolled his eyes and finished wrapping the bandage around Genma's shoulder. It took him longer than it normally would, considering the loss of one arm. But all in all, he was glad at least one person he cared about made it home alive. He had debated getting closer to Genma again after all these years. They had been good friends during childhood, and even their teenage years, but they fell off shortly after Kakashi strolled back into his life. Iruka made plans with Genma for after his shoulder healed, they'd spar just like they used to. And that made them both happy.

The sudden cheering, and ecstatic screams filled both of their ears. Iruka peaked his head out of then tent, and noticed a wave of shinobi swarming the front gates. Genma and himself rushed through the crowd to make their way to the front. As they broke through the large mass of people, Iruka was relieved to see the shinobi of the village back where they belong. His eyes shamelessly scanned the crowd for his former students, as well as Kakashi and Naruto.

He first spotted Lee and TenTen, who were covered with wounds from head to toe, and were wheeling Gai in threw the gates in a wheelchair, he was in need of desperate medical attention. His skin looked discolored, and burned in some areas. His eyes seemingly lifeless, his limbs limp. He was nowhere near his usual self, and it broke Iruka's hear. Gai was a friend of his, and a very close friend to Kakashi. He hated to see him this way.

Not far behind them was Kiba, Hinata and Shino. It brought back memories seeing them together as a team, but it obvious their chakra was low. Thankfully their injuries weren't life threatening. The looks on their faces showed how much pain they were in, as if they had seen hell and nothing else. Iruka wished his students didn't have to witness a large scale of death at such a young age, but it was the unfortunate reality.

Iruka's heart began to race as a familiar pink hair kunoichi dragged herself through the gates along side the Hokage and Shizune. If Sakura was here, Naruto, and he hoped Sasuke as well, weren't far behind. He scanned the crowed more intently, looking for a puff of bright yellow hair.

The three of them were helping pull stretchers towards the medical tents. Tsuande's voice boomed over the chatter of civilians and other shinobi, yelling at them to move out of her way. Iruka obeyed, but as that puff of yellow hair came into his line of view, he quickly ran towards the hokage, and his body instantly froze.

"Naruto?!"

"Iruka-Sensei! Please step back!" Shizune held out her arm to halt the other. "We need-"

"Oh god.." He breath quickened as he noticed the missing limb, and Naruto's now paled skin. His eyes were dark and sunken in. They were trying to stop the blood loss as Iruka stood there, his body frozen to the ground. Time seemed to stop as more medical-nins appeared around Naruto in the blink of an eye.

It took him a moment to notice Sasuke in the same condition. His heart nearly stopped beating in his chest. Iruka knew deep down that loosing his students was an unfortunate reality, but these two were special among the rest, Naruto especially. Sasuke was one of his best students, and to this day Iruka wished he tucked the young uchiha under his wing when he had the chance.

Tears fell from Iruka's eyes as the more med-nins rushed in. They were yelling things he couldn't understand, and flashes of blue chakra and hand seals were being thrown around. The boys seemed to be in so much pain, and there was nothing he could do but stand and watch, and pray.

His eyes weren't the only ones filled with tears. Naruto's eyes filled, his face wore the expression of fear. His life was short to ending, his chakra low, and yet a part of him was happy. Naruto's tears fell silently as he looked over to Sasuke, and his heart suddenly filled with love.

Naruto wondered if this was what it felt like every time Iruka laid eyes on Kakashi. Just seeing Sasuke made the fear he held for his life wilt away. He strained, lifting his arm and reached over to the others face, softly caressing his thumb against sasuke's cold, pale cheek.

"I love you. You know that, right?" He muttered through the chaos in the room.

"Yeah, I know." Sasuke couldn't help but smile.

"If we die, can we at least be holding hands?"

"No." He wanted to laugh, but he simply didn't have the energy. "We aren't going to die, dumbass."

"Yeah, but just in case?"

"Are you scared?" He asked. "Is that why you want to hold my hand?"

"I'm more than scared." Naruto answered honestly. "I don't want to loose you again."

"Dumbass." He rolled his eyes. Sasuke gently grasped the others hand, gripping as hard as he possibly could. "I'm not going anywhere."

 

-

 

Iruka was pulled away from the medical tent by a strong grip on his arm. If he wasn't in such an emotional state, he would have noticed sooner. He accepted his fate as he was getting pulled away.

"Are you not going to ask if I'm okay?" A deep, velvety voiced filled his ears. A chill ran down his spine as he turned to see a tuff of silver hair, and an all too familiar eye smile.

"Kakashi.." Iruka's arm instantly wrapped itself around Kakashi's shoulders, squeezing him hard as hard as he could. He nuzzled his face into the crook of the others neck and started to sob. Emotions were running high, and he couldn't hold back the river of tears any longer.

"You arm..." Kakashi eyed the dark blue sling that cradled iruka's broken arm. "Is it okay?"

"Yes.." Iruka forced himself to respond, try desperately to be strong in front of kakashi. But they both knew that ship sailed long ago.

"Are _you_ okay?"

Iruka nodded as he pulled away. He used the end of his sleeve to wipe the wetness away from his cheeks. He took in a deep, shaky breath, before eyeing kakashi over completely. He was badly bruised and wrapped with bandages that needed to be changed as soon as possible, but from what iruka could see, no broken limbs, nothing was missing aside from his sharingan, but he didn't want to ask why - not yet, anyways.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Kakashi."

"I'm far from okay.. But I'm alive."

"I'd prefer to have you alive and a little broken." Iruka offered a shaky smile. "You have me to help fix all of the broken pieces."

"It's gonna take a while to put them back together."

"We have the rest of our lives together, Kakashi."

"Are you promising me forever, Iruka-Chan?" He flashed a teasing smile, thought it went hidden behind his mask - which he needed to replace. It's scent brought forward too many memories, now.

"You can try and get rid of me, but I'm not going anywhere."

"Is that a threat?" Kakashi grinned as he peeled his mask down from his face. "Or another promise?"

"Yes." He returned the grin and took another step closer to his lover. "You're stuck with me for the rest of your life, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I wouldn't want it any other way."

Kakashi curled an arm loosely around Iruka's waist, and pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips met for a short moment before Kakashi masked his face again. He suggested they check on Naruto and Sasuke before heading home, or towards the sleeping tents. Iruka informed him that he had a bed they could sleep on, but they weren't going anywhere until Kakashi was checked on by a med-nin, and he was certain his two former students were going to be okay. Kakashi didn't fight this one, he truly didn't expect Iruka to leave their side any time soon.

 

As Kakashi sat impatiently on the cot for a med-nin, his eyes met with his lovers for a moment. He instantly remembered the long conversation they had before Kakashi had left for war. It was a conversation that hurt, but was needed. Everything was in terms of the worst case scenario. If Kakashi died, what would be left to Iruka, and vice versa. Kakashi told him simply, _everything of mine is yours if I die._ Iruka insured him there was nothing of his worth keeping, aside from photographs and his expensive tea cup set from Suna, but he was free to take anything he pleased.

Iruka's words rang in the back of his head like a broken bell. _If possible, Kakashi, please come home alive. And keep Naruto safe. Promise me that at the least. I understand it's your duty as a shinobi, and that dying during battle is to be expected but... If you truly can, please come home. I'd truly be heart broken without you._

 _"_ Hey.." Kakashi murmured, getting Iruka's undivided attention. "I kept my promise. I came home alive."

"Yeah." A genuine smile crossed his lips. "Yeah you did."

 

* * *

 

Both men sat in a comfortable silence on their bed, looking out at the setting sun. The sky was a beautiful shade of pink, with blue undertones that reminded Iruka of cotton candy. The clouds hung low, cascading over the gates of Kohoha. Everyone who survived made it home safely. The soft crying and cheering made for good background noise. Iruka wasn't sure if the crying was a result of loosing a loved one, or having them come home safely, but he knew it was an even mix of both.

"Naruto and Sasuke need prosthetic arms."

"Tsunade-sama informed me." Iruka closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled deeply. At least both of his former students were going to be fine, a missing limb wouldn't have been enough to stop either of them.

Iruka heard Kakashi let out a deep sigh of his own. He could tell his lover was in pain, and not just physically. The way his eyes hung low, the dark circles under his eyes, and the way he walked. Kakashi was usually slumped over to begin with, but purely for his persona. This time though, it truly seemed as if his body was struggling to stay upright. The weight of the world constantly weighing down on his shoulders. All the pain and sadness he had kept sheltered away all these years were starting to tear him down, but Iruka knew better than to ask upfront. Kakashi wouldn't say a thing, he'd pretend to be strong, and not just for himself, but for Iruka as well. That's the kind of man he was, a stupid man who was always loyal, and always strong. Even if his greatest strength was also one of his biggest weaknesses.

Iruka laid himself across the mattress, and was joined a few seconds later by Kakashi. There was so much to say, but words seemed to be forgotten. How could either of them explain what went on while they were away? It was obvious that war, all in all, was hell on earth. There were things neither of them wanted to talk about.

Kakashi lost a precious person in his life, for what felt like - and really was - a second time. Too many of his comrades died, too many young soldiers and too many injuries. Everything was red in his eyes. Bloodshed was something he thought he grew a tolerance to, but he was clearly wrong.

He was startled from his thoughts as soft fingertips grazed his cheeks, directly under his eyes, the one that for so long was Obito's sharingan. For an instant, he was worried about having the eye open for too long, but the sudden rush of emotions reminded him that this eye was his. There was no sharingan, there was nothing but steel grey, lifeless eyes.

It was the first time he noticed he was looking at Iruka from only _his_ eyes, and his heart instantly fluttered. Kakashi turned his head towards the other, and smiled weakly. He was trying so hard to stay strong for them both, but the smile faded as tears fell from Iruka's deep brown eyes.

"Why are you crying?" Kakashi asked. He knew it was a dumb question, there was too many reasons to be crying.

"I'm crying your tears, because I know you won't." Iruka spoke softly. He tried to stop his hand from trembling as he caressed the others cheek, but he simply couldn't. His whole body flooded with Kakashi's emotions.

"You really don't have to, Iruka-Chan." He inched himself closer, and slipped an arm around Iruka's waist and held him close. The chunin nuzzled his face into Kakashi's chest, sobbing loudly.

Kakashi couldn't remembered the last time he cried after a mission. Maybe it was after Rin died, maybe it was after that one trying S rank mission from water country. He wasn't really sure, he wasn't the type to cry, no matter how badly he was hurting.

He had always been impressed by Iruka's wide rang of emotions, and somehow he was a little jealous. The younger man had no problem expressing how he felt, and it was shameless. How did Iruka manage to stay so strong while showing emotions? Kakashi had forced himself to be an emotionless shinobi robot from such a young age. He wouldn't know how to shamelessly show his feelings even if he wanted to.

Iruka was the strongest person in the room. Sure, Kakashi may be feared among the nations, but Iruka... he was not only a shinobi, but a man. He was a teacher, an amazing lover, and amazing cook, nurturer, friend. He was everything that made a person strong, aside from physical strength. And even then, he stills gives Kakashi a run for his money. He knew that if Iruka knew more jutsu, and had better stamina and speed, they'd be neck and neck.

He was everything Kakashi needed, especially know. Iruka wasn't crying for himself, he had always been selfless like that. The heavy tears streaming from his eyes were for him. They were Kakashi's unshed tears. The pain rolling from his eyes was Kakashi's pain.

"Thank you." He whispered into Iruka's ear. "I feel better."

"I don't expect you to tell me, but I'll always be a shoulder to cry on."

"I know.."

"Can I ask?"

"You already know the answer, most likely." He said, and let a hand slid up the back of Iruka's shirt. His cold fingers grazed gently over the deep scar tissue on his back.

"Then I won't ask. I'm sorry."

"No, I'll just tell you."

Iruka found the hem of Kakashi's shirt, and slid his hand up the others torso, stopping at his chest. He kept his eyes away from Kakashi's, looking intently at the mold of his hand through the others uniform shirt.

"Obito's was alive this whole time." He started to say, though barely audible. "He was there when I.. With Rin.. He joined forces with Madara and started Akatsuki. It's still hard to believe that someone with such a good heart could do such bad things."

"Love does that to you." Iruka said, running his fingers gently over his lovers tight chest. He noticed Kakashi's heart racing, and sent calming chakra through his fingertips. Gently, he massaged the tight muscles on Kakashi's shoulders.

"He thought Rin was in love with me, you know."

"She wouldn't have been stupid to be. You're an amazing man."

"She loved Obito, everyone knew that. What happened that night.. And the way that we loved each other.. It was different. It wasn't that kind of love. She was like family to me, they both were."

"Deep down, I'm sure he knew that."

"I hope so. I'd never try to take her from him. He loved her so much. It was a big part of the why this war started. I always knew her death would come back to bite me in the ass, and look-"

"This is in now way your fault, Kakashi. Don't you even dare." Iruka peeled his eyes away from his hand and glared unintentionally at Kakashi. "It may have played a part in Obito's mental state, but war.. War is something that's inevitable. Don't you dare blame yourself for _any_ of this. Madara could have easily manipulated Obito into starting this war. Please, stop putting the blame on yourself, not everything that in this world is your fault."

"You don't know that.."

"Kakashi.." Iruka removed his hand from the others body and slowly started to sit up. Kakashi immediately followed suit, and sat up next to him.

"You're single handedly the _best thing_ that has ever happened to me." Iruka began. "Even if we have our differences, and even though you aren't always home, you make me the happiest man alive. There's no one else in this world I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. Honestly, just saying I love you isn't enough. How I feel about you is much deeper than that. I don't know how I went those five years without you, because I really don't think I can live without you now."

"Iruka-Chan.."

"You're an amazing person, Kakashi, inside and out. You're one hell of a shinobi, and one hell of a man. Hell, you're stubborn and childish at times, but I wouldn't have you any other way. From that crazy Hatake hair of yours all the way to your _old busted up_ sandals, I love every god damn inch of your flawless body."

"My sandals aren't _that_ old.." He mumbled to himself.

"Kakashi.." Iruka rested the cool palm of his hand against the others cheeks. "You're also prevented, old fashioned and you struggle with showing your emotions. Sometimes I think you're robotic."

"That hurt a little.."

"But I _understand,_ that's what I'm trying to tell you. I love and accept all your quirks because I understand. Being a shinobi is hard on a person, and in your case a child. You were so young, and didn't know any better. But look at you... you turned out to be a fine man, one of the greatest, and most handsome, shinobi on this planet. That's something to be proud of."

"But-"

"No buts!" Iruka held a finger against Kakashi's lips. "You're an amazing man, end of story."

"But I-"

"It doesn't matter. We all fuck up sometimes. That makes you human, Kakashi. Flaws are what shape a person."

"Ah.." Kakashi nodded, looking down at Iruka's finger. "It's been a long time since I've felt human, or alive for that matter."

"That's understandable. I'll try my best to make things at home as humanly as possible. As a matter of fact, I know something very human we can do."

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Sex is very animalistic." Iruka teased, and withdrew his fingers from the others lips. "But that sure as hell beats emotionless robot."

"You're right." Kakashi grinned. "But I'd like to show you how thankful I am to have you in my life."

"Oh yeah?" Iruka returned a devilishly grin.

Kakashi nodded. "I too, think you're the best thing to have ever happened to me. Even if I can't forgive myself for hurting you. But I'm happy.."

"Happy?"

"I'm happy that I have you now. Because right now I really need you, Iruka-Chan."

"I'm not going anywhere, Kakashi."

Iruka lightly pressed his forehead against the others. Both men were busy fighting back their own tears. Kakashi's hands rested on Iruka's hips, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Without hesitating, Iruka crashed his lips into Kakashi ever so desperately. His tongue swiped across the others lips, demanding entrance and Kakashi gladly obliged.

Iruka noted that his lovers mouth tasted salty and dry, mostly from the ration bars and pills he was given at the medical tent. But he ignored the slightly sour taste and pushed deeper, tasting every inch of his lovers mouth with little fuss from Kakashi.

It was a mystery how their clothes had made a pile on the floor while their lips never left each other's, but both men didn't give it any thoughts. Kakashi craved skin on skin contact. His hands explored Iruka's body as they kissed harder, shamelessly moaning into each other's mouths.

Iruka's skin was as soft as Kakashi remembered, with the occasional new scar and bruises. He was careful to not disturb Iruka's broken arm, and had him laid comfortably on his back as his hands roamed.

Iruka used his good hand to tangle his fingers into silver locks, tugging gently every time Kakashi's fingers ghosted over a sensitive spot on his body.

Their lips parted and Iruka started to complain, but his words were soon was cut off by a sharp moan as Kakashi nipped down on his neck, and sucked over the teeth marks. The second bite drew blood, and Iruka's body started to tremble. Kakashi had a hand stroking Iruka's rock hard cock, and the other teasing his lovers perky, dark nipple. His mouth worked viscously on Iruka's neck.

The noises coming deep from Iruka's throat were purely sinful, and went directly to Kakashi's groin. His cock twitched with every sinful moan and cry. He couldn't hold back much longer, and began to leave a trail of bites down his lovers perfectly tanned skin. He made sure to leave an impressive mark on Iruka's hip, and licked the line of blood clean from the fresh wound. The younger man choked back a cry, and let a loud moan escape his lips.

Kakashi skipped one of his favorite things to do to Iruka, and lifted his hips instead.

"I have lube-"

"We don't need it." Kakashi's tone was viscous yet needy. Iruka wanted to protest, but his lovers tongue pushed eagerly against his puckered hole, causing him to gasp. Kakashi didn't normally use saliva over lube, but Iruka caught on quickly that any remnant of the Kakashi he usually slept with had gone long before. He was rougher than usual, and the bite marks along Iruka's body wouldn't fade any time soon, but he wasn't complaining. They both needed something rough and animalistic.

Iruka jumped when slicked fingers started stretching him wide. His talented fingers knew exactly where Iruka's prostate was located. It took him weeks to find it, initially, but now he could find it blindfolded if he needed to. Kakashi pushed in a fourth finger after another moment, and rammed them into Iruka's. He used his other hand to pin the other down, laying his hand flat over Iruka's stomach to keep the other still as he violated his hole.

Kakashi craved to be in control tonight. He was normally generous, and focused more on pleasing Iruka more than getting pleasure _from_ Iruka. It tended to be fifty fifty when they made love, but tonight, Kakashi wanted complete control. Too many things had been out of his control for far too long, and the man he loved was willing to submit to him one hundred and ten percent.

He had turned Iruka on to his good side, and positioned himself behind him. He quickly slicked himself again, and pressed into Iruka slowly. His lover groaned as he was filled with a thick, pulsating cock. Kakashi didn't hesitate to move his hips in long, slow trusts. He watched as he cock slid so easily out of his perfectly stretched lover, and how perfect Iruka sounded as he was getting fucked. His moans only made Kakashi fuck him harder.

He wanted to hear screaming, and he wanted to see tears running down Iruka's cheeks. Not from pain, never that. Kakashi wanted to see Iruka cry his tears again, because he desperately needed a release aside from his much anticipated orgasm.

He kissed the side of Iruka's neck, sucking the newly formed bruises and bites just to hear Iruka cry out. He could have sworn he heard Iruka mutter something between his moans, and figured Iruka was close to his own climax, but that only motivated him to trust harder, and much, _much,_ deeper than before.

Kakashi grunted as Iruka tightened around him, he slowly pulled out, and slammed himself back in, aiming directly for his lovers prostate. Iruka came with a loud cry, throwing his head back as he did so. A lone tear felt from his eye as he caught his breath. He stroked the last few drops of cum from his leaking cock, and licked of the few drops still left on his fingers.

Kakashi was close, and let out a moan of his own, directly into Iruka's ear, sending a chill down his spine. Goosebumps danced across his skin as Kakashi's sharp breaths and groans tickled against his ear with every hard thrust. He noticed Iruka's body trembling underneath him, and held him closely. Kakashi was slowly slipping back into reality as he orgasm approached.

"I love you so fucking much." Kakashi mumbled, burying himself deep inside Iruka as his hips bucked, and he came. His organism raging through his whole body. "I love you more than you can imagine. More than I've ever loved anything or anyone, _please don't ever leave me."_

"Kakashi." Iruka wiped the tears from his eyes, but they couldn't stop falling. He looked back over his shoulder at his lover, noticing his dark grey eyes, still lifeless and dull, but full of tears. "Baby.. I'm not going anywhere."

He pushed forward until Kakashi's now soft cock was no longer inside him. Iruka ignored the slight burning sensation, along with the wet trail of cum, and turned himself to face Kakashi.

"It's okay for you to cry your own tears, my precious little human." He sniffled and wiped his eyes again, then proceeded to wipe under Kakashi's. "No matter how much you cry, you're still strong, Kakashi. It's okay to break down every once and a while. You don't have to be strong at this exact moment."

"Iruka-Chan." He cried out and could no longer hold back his tears. Iruka felt his heart shatter it a million pieces, but he held Kakashi to his tightly to his chest, and kissed the top of his head. Iruka embraced him as his tears flowed heavily, and his body started to tremble.

"Go ahead, let it all out."

His cries were silent, and the tears hot against Iruka's chest. As sympathetic as he felt, he was glad Kakashi could let out some more of his emotions. He'd forget about the bite marks and bruises, and the fact that walking tomorrow may be impossible. But this was a big step towards peace of mind for Kakashi. Something as simple as crying would help him reach his safe place. Somewhere where he feels safe and honest enough with himself to show emotion and shed tears when needed.

Home, to Kakashi was right where he was, in Iruka's arms. His warm embrace, and soft words were slowly starting to glue the pieces of his shattered life together. Every day would be a new chance at healing, and today marked a new beginning, the turn of a new leaf in Kakashi and Iruka's life.

Iruka was no longer torn.

The man who once hid behind the thick porcelain of his ANBU mask was dead and gone. Hound was a persona, an emotionless killing machine and nothing but a loyal dog to Konoha. He was a teenage boy, not much older than Iruka himself, who knew nothing more than kill or be killed. He was skilled beyond his years, and lacked empathy towards death. The tears on his victim's face meant nothing to him, he simply didn't understand. Hound was the one who didn't understand. Hound was the one who could kill simply because he was ordered to. Hound was the feared anbu of konoha at the age of fourteen. Kakashi was never those things. He was sweet, caring and genuine, just a teenager looking for his place in the world, doing the only thing he had ever known: fight.

It had taken Iruka time to realize that he never truly had the choose between the two. Hound was Hound, and left in the past. Kakashi was himself, as much as he didn't feel like it at times. The man he had fallen in love with all those years ago was the exact same man he was in love with now. Iruka cursed at himself for not realizing that Hound was never the man he was in love with, it had always been the man behind the mask.

At the end of every trying mission, it wasn't Hound who stumbled through Iruka's bedroom window at odd hours of the night, it was always Kakashi.

 

 

**\-- end --**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! (if I made any mistakes, please let me know and I'll fix them right away!)
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you thought.


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